The Queens of Drag Race All Stars Play Fuck, Marry, Kill

I catch my first glimpse of the stars of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 8 when peering through the open door of their makeshift dressing room (a mini-conference space) in Paramount’s Times Square offices. It’s 9:30am. A perfectly acceptable working hour for most of the New York proletariat, but for drag queens who spent the last four hours meticulously applying makeup, cinching corsets, and donning lavish costumes, it may as well be five am. However, these seasoned all stars don’t seem to mind in the least. They wave off my apologies for the early meeting time. After all, it isn’t their first press week rodeo. This time around, though, the stakes are higher than ever. These queens are competing for a title that will thrust them into international stardom and earn them a cash prize of $200,000. But they’re far from nervous. These Drag Race veterans are revving their engines, eager to take their rightful places in the spotlight. I sat down with this season’s cast—Alexis Michelle, Darienne Lake, Heidi N Closet, Jaymes Mansfield, Jessica Wild, Jimbo, Kahanna Montrese, Kandy Muse, LaLa Ri, Monica Beverly Hillz, Mrs. Kasha Davis, and Naysha Lopez—to find out their signature scents, the easiest way to endear yourself to a drag queen, and the most irresponsible way they’d spend their All Stars 8 winnings.

———

JIMBO

 

PAUL MCCALLION: Now, this is your third Drag Race iteration in three different countries.

JIMBO: Yes.

MCCALLION: I want to know which which countries’ queens are the shadiest of them all?

JIMBO: Definitely the U.K. They’re very witty. They have a great sense of humor. They’re very cutting. I feel like they just like to have fun with language and words. You know Blu Hydrangea, she’s cute and she looks innocent, but that’s a shady queen right there.

MCCALLION: What is the most irresponsible purchase you’d make with $200,000?

JIMBO: It’s hard to define “irresponsible.” I feel like all of my decisions would be irresponsible. But I think, irresponsibly, I would definitely throw a gigantic party.

MCCALLION: Hell yes.

JIMBO: And just be irresponsible with my money and my decisions that night.

MCCALLION: What’s the easiest way to get a drag queen to like you? Asking for a friend.

JIMBO: I would say the easiest way to get a drag queen to like you is probably to compliment them, to buy them something, or to give them some money.

MCCALLION: Any ideas for purchases?

JIMBO: Perfume, because drag queens often smell. And diamonds.

MCCALLION: There we go.

JIMBO: Most drag queens can’t afford diamonds. So it’s good if someone gives them to you.

MCCALLION: On that note, do you have a signature scent?

JIMBO: My signature scent is the smell of a success. I don’t tend to wear that much cologne or perfume, so I don’t have a brand. I’d say my smell is like a daily special. You never really know. I do shower often. So the smells are usually fresh and tasty.

MCCALLION: This is fuck, marry, kill: Snatch Game, Fame Game, board games.

JIMBO: Fuck board games because I love playing board games. Marry the Snatch Game because I won it on my original season and I love playing it.

MCCALLION: Who do you go to for advice?

JIMBO: I go to my mom. She is my biggest fan. She has given me advice as long as I can remember. She taught me to have the best time and others will join you. She used to always say, “Tits and teeth.”

MCCALLION: And you really ran with it.

JIMBO: Yeah, that was just a reminder for me to keep my head up and my shoulders back. Because being different as a kid, I was teased a lot and I wasn’t always the coolest. So she was always just reminding me: “Tits and teeth.” I love mama. 

MCCALLION: That’s lovely. What was the last thing you stole?

JIMBO: I’m trying to think of when the hell did I steal something last. When you work and you make a lot of money, you don’t need to steal.

MCCALLION: Amazing. 

JIMBO: I’m just joking.

MCCALLION: What’s been your most insane fan interaction?

JIMBO: Well, I guess there’s an XXX one.

MCCALLION: Oh, those are fun.

JIMBO: But that one was kind of weird because afterward I was like, “Can I use the bathroom?” On my way there, there was an entire wall of signed photographs of all my sisters, including one of myself. I was like, “No.” People getting tattoos. That’s pretty wild. 

MCCALLION: Do you think they pick a good reference photo?

JIMBO: I would say yes, but that usually gets lost in translation. I get given a lot of bologna. People love the Casper character.

———

NAYSHA LOPEZ, ALEXIS MICHELLE, LALA RI

 

MCCALLION: You’re a former Miss Continental. Brooke Lynn Hytes is a former Miss Continental. Sasha Colby is as well. Roxxxy is a Miss Continental Plus. Is there a Miss Continental Ru-girl group chat?

NAYSHA LOPEZ: Oh, wow. Okay. We do not have a group chat. We really don’t even talk. We don’t like each other. That’s just like the thing with pageant girls, they’re so catty in that way. No, not us. We actually went all back to back. Sasha won first, then I won, then Brooklyn won, so we all crowned each other and we got to tour together and hang out. A group chat is something that I feel we need now that you’ve mentioned it.

MCCALLION: Just to feel superior.

NAYSHA: Totally. And also, we left Porkchop. Porkchop is a former Miss Continental Plus. And we have also one more from Holland, Vanessa Van Cartier. She’s also a former Miss Continental.

MCCALLION: I’m rusty on my internationals. Alexis, I was just revisiting your original Snatch Game. And now, of course, we’ve got Jinkx as Judy in Snatch Game. Could we get a touring act in the works for Liza and Judy?

ALEXIS MICHELLE: Oh my god. I feel like it is destined to be. I’ve stanned Jinkx for a long time, so I would absolutely love to take a mother and daughter act on the road. Even if it’s just for one night.

MCCALLION: Yes.

ALEXIS: A little behind the scenes tea. Because I auditioned for Drag Race eight times before I got on season nine, and the year that Jinkx got on, in my Snatch Game audition portion of my audition tape, I did Little Edie and Liza. And I know that Liza was Jinkx’s backup when she did Little Edie.

MCCALLION: That’s going to be the whole show. And LaLa Ri, there’s this “Fame Game” thing being tossed around. As a former Miss Congeniality, do you think you have a leg up on these girls when it comes to winning hearts and minds?

LALA: Yes, of course honey. They love a nice queen. I’m super excited for the fans to be able to be involved in the show. They wanted it for so long, honey, so now you get your chance. Okay. But yeah, I do feel like I have a leg up.

MCCALLION: What is the most irresponsible purchase you’d make with $200,000?

NAYSHA: Okay, one of my BFFs who I give all my money to, his name is Joshuan Aponte. He’s this fierce designer. I would give him all $200,000 and say, “Don’t you dare charge me for another thing for the rest of my life.”

MCCALLION: So Naysha is putting Joshuan Aponte on retainer.

ALEXIS: For me, I really have a big real estate dream. But $200,000 can’t buy me the house out east on Long Island that I want. But I have a thing for bling when it comes to drag, I have to have a little bit of ice, my rings, my earrings, et cetera. And so I think the irresponsible purchase would be buying some real ice.

LALA RI: For me, I love to eat. So I would probably be the one to go and buy a steak for like a hundred thousand dollars with gold. They got the gold flakes off of Amazon and I’ll be the dummy to actually buy the gold steak.

MCCALLION: What’s the easiest way to get a drag queen to like you?

NAYSHA: The easiest way is to read her.

MCCALLION: Oh, really?

ALEXIS: Yeah. If you’re funny, if you can make a queen laugh. Or if you’re hot. That works too.

MCCALLION: Those are great tips.

NAYSHA: That’s why all y’all hoes liked me. I read y’all.

ALEXIS: Yes.

NAYSHA: And I’m hot.

MCCALLION: So Alexis says making you laugh and being hot.

ALEXIS: Yeah. And let me just say, my spectrum of attraction is wide. So that’s not a limiting request.

LALA: Giving them free stuff, especially if they’re a baby queen or something. Baby queens are always asking for free stuff. So if you give them something for free, honey, like a heel or something, they will love you.

MCCALLION: Who do you go to for advice?

LALA: Oh, I go to BeBe Zahara Benet. The OG. She has been in this game for a very long time and she has some of the best advice and knowledge to give all the time. She knows everything.

ALEXIS: This is going to be a long one. I echo Bebe, because I got to film a TV show with Bebe and Jujubee and Thorgy and we got really close. So Bebe is of course an incredible source of wisdom and longevity and just fierceness in this profession. And I go to Jujubee for a lot of spiritual wisdom. But I will also say, within the All Stars Eight cast, Naysha Lopez is somebody that I look to because I trust that she’d be who she is without her Continental title. There is a real legendary lineage that comes from Continental, and that is not an easy system to excel or win in. So I bow down at the feet of any lady who can take that.

NAYSHA: I don’t know that I go to one person for specific advice, but because I get to meet everyone, like I met LaLa and Alexis before we were even on this. And I’m a person that loves to learn and I like to sit and actually listen, take in what I hear and what I learned from everyone, whether it’s their performance or who they are offstage. So I’m constantly learning and trying to grow because I get to work with such amazing, talented girls. So I wouldn’t say anyone in particular, but just everyone.

MCCALLION: Do you guys have a signature scent?

NAYSHA: Yes. Mine is my Good Chemistry. It’s called Queen Bee.

LALA: Ooh.

NAYSHA: LaLa, don’t steal it from me.

LALA: For me, I don’t even know the name of it. I’m so embarrassed to say this, but it’s the little bottle at CVS with the different colors. It’s like a tall bottle. It lasts forever and it lingers and it’s really cheap.

ALEXIS: I don’t like anything too sweet. So a mix of musky woodsy with a little bit of clean floral.

MCCALLION: The masculine and the feminine. Alexis likes a mix.

ALEXIS: I am a Libra.

MCCALLION: We’ve got to have balance. Fuck, marry, kill: Snatch Game, Fame Game, board games.

NAYSHA: What’s the last one?

MCCALLION: Board games. Like, Monopoly.

NAYSHA: Okay. I would kill the Snatch Game because it’s probably  the most challenging one. I would marry board games. It’s cute. You can play with one other person or you can play with a bunch of people. And then the last one is Fame Game, which means I would fuck Fame Game.

MCCALLION: Period.

NAYSHA: Yeah. I’m going to fuck that upstairs. Can we say that?

LALA: Kill Snatch Game. Woo. It is such a challenge. I would fuck board games and I would marry Fame Game because it comes with a check.

ALEXIS: I am going to kill board games, but I haven’t played them in a minute. And I will marry the Fame Game because we’ll get some nice china with that money. And then definitely fuck the Snatch Game. Because I love to make Snatch Game my bitch.

MCCALLION: What is the last thing you stole?

NAYSHA: Oh my god. I can tell you exactly what I stole.

MCCALLION: I love it.

NAYSHA: Now listen, I don’t steal. But it was actually a piece of the wall at RuPaul’s Drag Race. Anetra cut out a little piece and then I saw that there was a little piece missing and now it’s about the size of a door. Someone is going to be like, “Hey Naysha, we’re going to have to bill you for that because you literally fucked up our set.” But yes, I have a piece of wall.

LALA: I’m from Atlanta, so stealing, it’s in my blood. So when we left, they provided us with things like hairspray and tights, just all the necessities that we’ll need. I stole the entire shelf and I set up shop back home in Atlanta for the girls to buy from me.

MCCALLION: LaLa became an entire entrepreneur. Alexis?

ALEXIS: So when you see a beautifully merchandised stock shelf full of Anastasia, well, imagine the satisfaction of picking up a whole lip display and just dumping it in your bag, every last one.

MCCALLION: Wow. It was truly like the Hunger Games that last day on set. Walls were coming down. My last one is, what’s your most insane fan interaction?

NAYSHA: Oh, nothing appropriate.

MCCALLION: Naysha doesn’t kiss and tell.

NAYSHA: Absolutely not. I don’t know. I don’t have fans.

MCCALLION: I don’t believe that.

ALEXIS: I will say that, after my initial run on season nine, I was getting to know a supporter of mine. And after we finished eating dinner, the first words out of his mouth were, “Wow, that was surreal.” And then he wanted to talk about filming and I was like, “Not this.”

NAYSHA: Girl, that’s the worst.

———

MONICA BEVERLY HILLZ and KAHANNA MONTRESE

 

MCCALLION: Let’s start with Monica. You performed with Miley Cyrus at the VMAs back in 2015. Do you have any good celebrity gossip from that?

MONICA BEVERLY HILLZ: Oh, I have a lot of celebrity gossip and I did not sign an NDA.

MCCALLION: Amazing.

BEVERLY HILLZ: Actually. I got the call from Gia [Gunn], my niece. LaGanja [Estranja] contacted her to get in contact with me. We’re at rehearsal and Miley comes in with her dog in her yoga outfit, just so down to earth and so beautiful. She was smoking a “j” girl, you know, very that. We were actually there when she had that beef with Nicki [Minaj].

MCCALLION: Oh my.

BEVERLY HILLZ: It’s such a throwback. It was such a good gig.

MCCALLION: What a memory. Kahanna, similarly, you did go to the Grammy’s last year and you had this iconic Toni Braxton re-creation. I just wanted a little story from that night.

KAHANNA MONTRESE: Oh my gosh. That was an amazing experience, because it was the first time that they ever did the Grammys in Las Vegas. It was a huge deal to do Toni Braxton and walk down that carpet feeling my oats. I was living. 

MCCALLION: What is the most irresponsible purchase you’d make with $200,000?

BEVERLY HILLZ: I’d probably buy a mini little mansion because I’ve always lived in apartments and on people’s couches. So I’d probably buy a nice house. Then the rest of it on my body.

KAHANNA: I’d say I’m buying a live-in plastic surgeon. He is going to have a lovely suite, baby.

BEVERLY HILLZ: You’re going to have surgery parties.

KAHANNA: Baby, he’s going to have all the syringes, all the needles, everything he needs to make sure that I’m looking like the winner of All Stars, baby. I’m going to look like the winner of the whole damn franchise.

MCCALLION: Easiest way to get a drag queen to like you?

BEVERLY HILLZ: Give her money and respect.

KAHANNA: Hello. We love a good coin, honey. Look at us. You’re looking at walking goddesses. We’ll take your coins. When I go to a drag show and I’m in the audience and people are on their freaking phones in the front row seat chatting, it’s like, “Give us respect.” It takes a lot to do what we do. 

MCCALLION: Who do you go to for advice?

KAHANNA: Ain’t nothing like getting on your good old knees and looking up—you have to pray. I go to god for my overall peace. And whenever I feel like gossiping, I call my mama. My mom grounds me.

BEVERLY HILLZ: I would have to say my trans mother, Barbie Blanco. Everybody perceives her to be very wild, but she’s very wise and smart. The second person is myself. I always had to trust myself with a lot of decisions. I was a child of abandonment so when you go through social services and all that, you have to realize, “Okay, it’s going to be me.”

KAHANNA: Exactly.

MCCALLION: Do you have a signature scent?

KAHANNA: I like to cocktail my fragrances. Baby, I’m a mixologist. I put a little bit of vanilla, because I’m sweet. I put a little bit of cinnamon, because I can be spicy, and I’m not going to tell you the other ones because that’s for me and it’s proprietary.

BEVERLY HILLZ: Yes, honey. I would say my secret scent would be YSL’s Libre.

KAHANNA: Ooh. Is that what you’ve got on now?

BEVERLY HILLZ: No, I actually changed it up. I got Givenchy on.

MCCALLION: Most insane fan interaction?

BEVERLY HILLZ: I ended up helping out a fan because she needed my help. But it turned into a violent thing. It was just the weirdest thing that happened to me. I felt like it was somebody trying to set me up. I go into it more on the show.

MCCALLION: Okay.

BEVERLY HILLZ: Oh, I forgot. I got into some physical altercations with a fan during St. Patrick’s day. I’ll never forget, it’s like it happened yesterday.

KAHANNA: Oh lord.

BEVERLY HILLZ: It was a girlfriend and her boyfriend, we had a meet-and0greet and I had to stick up the finger, you know, being cheesy and goofy, like Monica is. She told me to put down my finger and I told her to go fuck herself. I turned around and next thing you know, my hair is being pulled and there’s glasses being broken.

KAHANNA: But don’t worry, she got her money at the end of the night. [Laughs] The most weird interaction, which I was living, I had posted on Twitter, “I love the Delta cookies.” Those are my favorite cookies.

MCCALLION: On the plane?

KAHANNA: Honey, I love Delta Airlines cookies. I went and I posted about them, how they just bring me so much joy. A fan came up to the meet-and-greet with a whole box of them. Fans really care about us. I ate them all right there.

MCCALLION: What was the last thing you stole?

KAHANNA: The last thing we stole actually—the Anastasia [Beverly Hills] wall. Do you know those little beautiful props that they have on the show all the time? Well, on the last day, we all just decided, “Let’s put that in our bag because, who’s going to use it?”

BEVERLY HILLZ: To be fair though, I was giving my stuff to the PAs. We were sharing, we were very generous with our takings.

———

MRS. KASHA DAVIS, HEIDI N’ CLOSET, KANDY MUSE

 

MCCALLION: Let’s start with Ms. Kasha Davis. I want to give you a huge congratulations on your sobriety.

MRS. KASHA DAVIS: Thank you.

MCCALLION: So that means there must be an edit to your iconic catchphrase. I wanted to know what’s going to be the go-to summer mocktail?

MRS. KASHA: Oh, the summer mocktail? Well, I myself like a nice club soda with a lime. I also like a nice non-alcoholic mojito for the summer. It just quenches the thirst. And it’s lovely for those out there that are in the sober train to have that cocktail in hand so that people don’t ask the questions, “Did you get a drink? Did you want a drink? Do you need a drink?”

MCCALLION: Yeah, something to sip and keep the people away.

MRS. KASHA: That’s right.

MCCALLION: Heidi, your first time on Drag Race, there was a lot of balking from the judges about your name. Did we throw around any rebrands over the last couple years?

HEIDI N’ CLOSET: When it came down to it, they hated my name and still do. But I did bounce around for a little bit, of course. I’m like, well, RuPaul’s telling me this, maybe I should at least mow it over, unlike my lawn at the time. I was thinking of all the beautiful names that they thought of. “Heidi Hydrates” wasn’t quite right. When it came down to it, I was like, I’m “Heidi N’ Closet.” I had to stick with that.

MCCALLION: I don’t think it’s so hard to say.

HEIDI: It rolls off my tongue just fine.

MRS. KASHA: Ru tried to change my name too.

MCCALLION: Oh, no.

MRS. KASHA: Ru’s like, “It’s too complicated. There’s too many syllables.”

MCCALLION: It’s really all about efficiency.

MRS. KASHA: Right. It’s about being right. It’s about being married.

MCCALLION: Kandy, you’ve been spending a lot more time in L.A. since your season, but what’s one thing that New York has that LA just can’t hold a candle to?

KANDY MUSE: New York City has everything that L.A. can’t hold a candle to. New York City, it’s a monster. I live, eat, and breathe New York City. I’m born and raised here. I’m someone that loves nightlife and grew up in nightlife, in queer nightlife. And I’ve literally traveled to every corner in the world and I’ve been to every party, every club, every bath house in the world, and nothing compares to New York City. There’s a grit to New York that it just feels authentic. And if you look down to Brooklyn, no one’s wearing deodorant, which I knew.

HEIDI: We’re free.

KANDY: We’re free here.

MCCALLION: What’s the most irresponsible purchase you’d make with $200,000?

HEIDI: I’ve always wanted a Clydesdale horse with the big pom poms on their legs.

MRS. KASHA: If you go to Brooky, we have a lot of horses.

HEIDI: Really?

MRS. KASHA: There’s a lot of horse drugs.

KANDY: There it is.

MCCALLION: We can buy the Clydesdale and enough ketamine for a Clydesdale.

HEIDI: That’s all I need.

MRS. KASHA: What are you buying?

KANDY: You know what? I think I would finally buy that boat that I wanted in Season 13. I got a taste of it when I was down in Miami a few months ago. And I was living my best life, I think.

MRS. KASHA: Well, you’ll get the boat and Mrs. Davis wants to get an Airstream. And an Airstream is a camper that you can travel and go around in. They’re really, really chic and fun. And sometimes they have leather on the inside. It’s gorgeous.

KANDY: On the RV?

MRS. KASHA: RV camper. You can travel all around. We’re at that retirement age, the two of us. 

MCCALLION: Amazing. Mrs. Kasha Davis is getting an Airstream. Heidi’s getting a Clydesdale. And Kandy is getting a boat.

KANDY: Or nothing. Just sit on the money.

MCCALLION: What’s the easiest way to get a drag queen to like you?

HEIDI: Oh. Tell her her wig is crooked. Because then she knows you a real bitch and you will tell her if something was wrong.

KANDY: I think the easiest way to get a drag queen to like you is not being annoying. When we’re in drag, I have contacts, lashes, I have tape under my wig. I’m tucked, my feet hurt. My nails hurt from the press on. I’m cinched and everything. I’m uncomfortable. Give me the compliment and walk away and we’ll be best friends.

MRS. KASHA: That’s fair. $5.

MCCALLION: $5?

MRS. KASHA: Not just a dollar. A bigger bill.

KANDY: We remember those bigger bills. They see something that’s not a one, oh, they coming.

MCCALLION: What’s your signature scent?

MRS. KASHA: Juicy Couture.

MCCALLION: Amazing. Mrs. Kasha Davis has on Juicy Couture.

MRS. KASHA: Easy, breezy, Juicy Couture, basic bitch. You can get it at TJ Maxx on sale for $32.

HEIDI: I used to wear “Love Spell” all the time, from Victoria’s Secret.

KANDY: That’s the body spray.

HEIDI: But I haven’t worn it in so long and I’m just a natural girl.

MRS. KASHA: And that includes no deodorant.

KANDY: It depends. I’m a really big fan of Mugler. It’s the same one Madonna used to wear as well. It got discontinued in America. Right now I dabble between Angel and Alien and Mugler. But last night I walked into Sephora and I got Replica. I mean, there’s not a person you’re going to meet that says Kandy does not smell good.

MCCALLION: Fuck, marry, kill: Snatch Game, Fame Game, board games.

KANDY: Ooh, okay. I’m going to kill Snatch Game. I don’t like watching Snatch Game anymore on Drag Race. I know the fans love it. I hate it. I’m going to fuck the Fame Game. And I’m going to marry board games because board games either A, brings people together or B, makes them fight.

HEIDI: I lost friends over Monopoly so I mean, yeah. They did me wrong in that Monopoly game. They know they did. I don’t talk to them no more. I think I’m going to marry board games because I’ve always played board games. It reminds me of times with my family when we’re growing up and we played board games together. I would probably have to kill Snatch Game, because I killed it. And then I guess that means I got to fuck, who am I fucking?

MCCALLION: Fame Game.

HEIDI: Fame Game. She going to get fucked a lot today. What about you, Kasha?

MRS. KASHA: Fuck the Fame Game. Marry Snatch Game.

HEIDI: Oh, word.

MRS. KASHA: It’s fun to do characters and all that. And then just kill board games. My kids, they would come over and we would play Uno and I’d be like, “Okay, fine.” That I got into. But when they wanted to start playing these board games of Trivial Pursuit, forget it. I think I’m stupid and I get into a fist fight, I can’t do it. It just gives me anxiety. I get so competitive that I just get mad and I just want to flip the game. That’s not a good look.

HEIDI: Honey.

MCCALLION: What was the last thing you stole?

HEIDI: Ooh, honey. A foundation from Walmart back in the day when I used to not have money for makeup.

KANDY: That was the last thing you stole?

HEIDI: Yes. I’m a Christian woman. Oh, and I did steal the hearts of America in season 10. That’s the answer.

———

JESSICA WILD, DARIENNE LAKE, JAYMES MANSFIELD

 

MCCALLION: So Jessica, you were a lip sync assassin back on All Stars 6, which was such an amazing performance.

JESSICA WILD: Yeah. When I got the call to be a lip sync assassin, it was also in the middle of the pandemic. So for me, it was hope that I could still do what I love, to show myself again to the new generation. I’ve been waiting for that opportunity for a long time. So I saw that like an amazing opportunity to also convince them to have me on the show. I felt so complete and so amazing that in my head I was like, I’m done with the show. I thought I closed a chapter in my life. But when I got the call, I was mentally ready.

MCCALLION: Who do you go to for advice?

DARIENNE LAKE: I go to my drag sisters in Rochester, and Kasha Davis is really great with advice. And Courtney Act is a spiritual kind of person who makes me stop and think, “Well, maybe you haven’t thought about it from their perspective.”

JESSICA: I used to perform and be in a dance school. And the teacher, Jorge Rosa, he was like my guy. He was the first person that I came out to. Every time I need advice because I’m feeling weak, I go to him. But from my sisters in drag, Nina Flowers is always there for me, every time I’m feeling that I need this auntie advice. She’s like my tía and she’ll always protect me.

JAYMES MANSFIELD: I have a very good collective of queens in Las Vegas. I usually will talk to Alexis Mateo or Coco Montrese. They’re very good to talk about career things. If it’s something really, really big, drag-related, I always talk to Trixie, that’s one of my good friends. And she always has a good way of putting a spin on something that I don’t really feel prepared for.

MCCALLION: What’s the key to a perfect drag race quip?

JAYMES: Oh, trauma.

MCCALLION: Trauma?

JAYMES: Absolutely. Trauma is the best one. If you have that, bring it to the surface. We love that.

MCCALLION: Okay. Fuck, marry, kill. Snatch Game, Fame Game, board games.

DARIENNE: I can’t fuck any of those things. I mean, I want to marry the Fame Game. Let’s see, fuck a board game. It’s probably going to be Sorry. Or Life, because that’s usually fucking me. And then of course, kill the Snatch Game. Oh, that’s so sad. But I’m gonna kill it.

JAYMES: I think it’s the same lineup. I would marry the Fame Game because you always want to marry into money. And I would screw board games, probably Clue, because I like a mystery. And kill? Who would I have to kill, the Snatch Game? That’s fine. We have enough celebrities.

DARIENNE: Dead celebrities, only dead celebrities.

MCCALLION: Darienne, do you have any tips for these girls on running a Fame Game? You’ve already won a drag race social media contest, back on season six. You were the Facebook fan favorite. 

DARIENNE: Well, I’m going to bring back my favorite strategy, which is a smear campaign. It works for all the evil politicians. I’m going to talk trash about everybody and make people realize who these girls really are. I mean, I’ve never seen Jessica recycle once. She doesn’t care about the planet. And yeah, Kasha Davis reads to children, but she will not read to the elderly. She does not like the elderly.

MCCALLION: It’s working on me already.

DARIENNE: That’s part of my political campaign, dirty politics, because apparently that seems to work in this country. I’m not going to tell about Jaymes Mansfield, her illegal sweatshop that she’s running.

MCCALLION: And I’m not recording or anything so we’ll just cut that out.

DARIENNE: You know what they say? Tiny hands make tiny knots, and she has these children locked in cages.

MCCALLION: What’s the most irresponsible purchase you’d make with $200,000?

JAYMES: I’ve thought long and hard about this. I would buy $200,000 worth of lottery tickets. Powerball scratch-offs, because it’s fun, you get something to do. One of them’s bound to work.

DARIENNE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you have all that dust all over the car or whatever.

JAYMES: Eyeshadow. Perfect.

JESSICA: I collect a lot of toys from the ’80s and sometimes people are like, “Are you fucking crazy?”

DARIENNE: She loves those big bodybuilder muscle boys, right?

JESSICA: Yeah. I’m a huge fan of Masters of the Universe and I spend a lot of money on those toys. And it’s insane, but if I want to sell them in the future, I can get my money back. But that’s not going to happen because I love them.

MCCALLION: So we’re all thinking investments. These don’t sound irresponsible to me. 

DARIENNE: I remember my mom took away my sister’s Barbies that I was playing with and gave me a He-Man doll, and I was like, “Thank you very much. This is really going to sustain me.” I don’t know, maybe I would use it to lobby some senators or something to make a little—

MCCALLION: A super PAC.

DARIENNE: Exactly. Or I’ll probably waste it on plastic surgery or something, but ridiculous plastic surgery. I want to look like a skeleton or something fun. Or I want to look like a Masters of the Universe doll. Maybe I’ll just get implants and packs everywhere. 

MCCALLION: There we go. Do you have a signature scent?

DARIENNE: Gasoline, because it’s expensive. And of course, only ethanol-free. Because fuck corn.

JAYMES: I usually wear Queen by Nicki Minaj because I’m a proud Barb and own anything that has her name or likeness on it. I like that the balls are shaped like her head. I love celebrities that do that. You twist off her skull and spray on perfume.

JESSICA: Well, this question is very special for me because I’ve been using the same scent for more than 13 years. This is the thing: everywhere I go, everybody is like, “What is that? You smell amazing.” And if I change my perfume, nobody asks me anything. Art and Beauty by Elizabeth Arden. Sometimes it’s not easy to find, but online I can find it very cheap and I have a lot of bottles in my house. I used to steal things from my mother, to dress up and everything.

DARIENNE: Oh, from your mother. I thought you were just hitting the department store.

JESSICA: That too. But no perfumes.

DARIENNE: Do you want to smell us, Paul?

MCCALLION: I should be so lucky.

JESSICA: Or sometimes, Old Spice.

DARIENNE: Axe body spray.

MCCALLION: Amazing. Break legs this entire week.

DARIENNE: So nice meeting you.

JAYMES: Thanks sweetheart, love your shirt.