“Skanky Bandage Dress or Business Lady?”: Our Recap of Off-White FW24

Photos courtesy of Mel Ottenberg.

THURSDAY FEB. 29, 2024 11:41 AM PARIS.

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MEL OTTENBERG: Hey, what’s up Shy? Which Off-White girl are you? Are you the skanky bandage dress or the business lady? 

SHYGIRL: I like the one where all the pieces like the jackets kind of come apart because I can leave bits of me wherever I go. And then maybe go back and have to pick it up, you know?

OTTENBERG: It is cute. I like your thing. Are you wearing Off-White? 

SHYGIRL: Yes, of course. 

OTTENBERG: Let’s look at these nails!

SHYGIRL: I know, it was meant to be jade because I was like, “I don’t want to put too much jewelry on because the dress is already giving.”

OTTENBERG: Okay, fab. Good to see you!

OTTENBERG: All right I’m here with Dusan Mrden. What did you think of the show?

MRDEN: I loved it. I love the butterflies. I love the stars. I love the colors.

OTTENBERG: Are you more into the skanky dress or the sportswear or the business stuff or what?

MRDEN: Oh, the skanky dresses for sure.

OTTENBERG: I like your t-shirt. It’s nice to meet you. 

MRDEN: Thank you very much.

MEL OTTENBERG: I ran into Anonymous Fashion Diva again. Anonymous Fashion Diva, which Off-White player are you? The bandage dress player? The ripped up denim player? The boardroom workwear player?

ANON: Oh, I’m definitely the shredded denim top skirt and the fur chubby thing. I feel like that is my boardroom reality. Do you have a problem with that?

OTTENBERG: No, of course not. I think it’s hot. I think I might be the same one.

ANON: You know, I’m a sucker for butterflies. I have no idea what they’re doing there, but butterflies are great.

OTTENBERG: Oh, yeah, butterflies are great. What board games do you play?

ANON: I feel like in life I’m giving Monopoly. But I also play poker, Mahjong and Yahtzee. Do you play any of those?

OTTENBERG: I mean, I’d rather play Monopoly. I think that sounds really fun. Or Candyland. This was giving Candyland. I’d like to know how to play poker but I don’t. I do sort of know how to play Backgammon.

ANON: Yeah. Backgammon’s great. I’m pretty good at it.

OTTENBERG. Do you have any last thoughts?

ANON: I was almost crushed by the throngs of paparazzi surrounding the Little Mermaid.

OTTENBERG: Yeah, I saw that. That was crazy. They really, really, really are feeling the Little Mermaid here. We like the double denim shredded. See you in the boardroom.

MEL OTTENBERG: Can I get a mom review?

LISA RINNA: Yes. 

OTTENBERG: Which Off-White one? Are you the skanky bandage dress or the business lady?

RINNA: What’s the first one?

OTTENBERG: The Skanky dress.

RINNA: I like the Skanky dress. I’m gonna go with that.