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J.B. Smoove Reviews 11 Pairs of Sunglasses Like Only He Can
Glasses by Gucci. T-Shirt (worn throughout) J.B.’s Own.
Through five seasons on Curb Your Enthusiasm, J.B. Smoove has established himself as a maestro at making stuff up. As Larry David’s streetwise sidekick Leon Black on the famously improvisational HBO comedy, the 55-year-old comedy veteran’s acrobatic wit and X-rated imagination has led to some of the show’s most hilarious moments (“You get in that ass, Larry!”). Ahead of Curb’s upcoming 11th season, we asked Smoove to review eleven different pairs of sunglasses, sat back, and let him bring the ruckus.
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BALENCIAGA, $490
Shirt by Balenciaga. Durag J.B.’s Own.
“I like glasses that wrap around my face well. These ones reach around and damn near pat me on the back.”
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MARCELO BURLON COUNTY OF MILAN, $220
Hat by Jon Narcisso. Jacket by Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello. Ring by Bvlgari.
“Square glasses accentuate my long face. You understand? From the side, I’m shaped more like a question mark. I like a meaty arm to my glasses, and these have a nice, meaty arm.”
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MONCLER, $410
T-shirt, Helmet, Durag, Bandanna (around neck), Watch, and Bracelets J.B.’s Own.
“When Marvel asked me to be in Spider-Man: Far From Home, the first thing I did was ask them what my power was. They told me that I was a teacher. But if I do become a hero, I’d want to be called Sucker Punch. I would talk to you, get your guard down, and then sucker punch your ass in the face. And my tight-ass costume would match these glasses.”
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BOTTEGA VENETA, $415
Hat by Jon Narcisso. Shirt by Fendi. Earring (worn throughout) J.B.’s Own. Blazer J.B.’s Own.
“I would only wear these with certain things. I have an amazing peach-mauve suit that accentuates my natural mocha tone. But here’s the bad part: I can’t wear that same damn suit every day. People would be like, ‘Don’t he got anything else to wear?’”
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GUCCI, $1,750
Jacket, Hat, and Necklace J.B.’s Own.
“You wear these on Christmas Eve because your ass waited too long to go shopping. You lollygagged, and now you’re running around Target buying stupid-ass shit like an umbrella, one glove, a pair of socks. I know a friend who wrapped up a cup of coffee and burned the shit out of somebody.”
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MOSCHINO, PRICE UPON REQUEST
T-shirt and Necklace J.B.’s Own.
“See the hands on these glasses? The hands are telling people something. They’re saying, ‘Fuck you want me to do about it?’ See the hands? ‘Fuck you want from me? Don’t make me slap the shit out of you.’ See the hands? You just turn your head real fast and slap them across their fucking face.”
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MYKITA STUDIO, $625
Blazer, Shirt, and Pin J.B.’s Own.
“I love shades where you can see the person’s eyes. Sometimes you want people to see when you know that they’re on that bullshit. That’s what these are perfect for.”
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VERSACE, $359
Hat by Jon Narcisso. Blazer by Versace. Shirt J.B.’s Own.
“These are the kind of glasses you go to heaven in. There’s some glasses you can’t go to heaven in. You could go to heaven in these damn glasses. And god would be like, ‘Look at you!’ God would say that. A lot of people think god won’t say that. But god will say, ‘Look at you!’”
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RAY-BAN, $154
Robe and Necklace by Versace. Tank Top, Durag, and Shoes J.B.’s Own.
“A nice pair of respectable glasses. People won’t think too much of you, and they won’t think any less of your ass. You could walk into any room with these on and you’d still get a little respect. They’re not going to judge you, and they’re not going to shy away from you because they think you’re rich.”
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ETNIA BARCELONA X IGNASI MONREAL, $525
Robe and Necklace by Versace. Tank Top, Durag, and Shoes J.B.’s Own.
“If these were a Ben and Jerry’s flavor, I’d call them Vanilla Caramel Swirl Sour Power. Guaranteed to turn heads when you walk in a room.”
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GUCCI, $550
“These are love-is-in-the-air glasses. You put them on, and you love everybody. You let people slip in front of you in line at the grocery store: ‘No, you go ahead. You only got milk and bread. I got a whole cart full of shit.”
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Grooming: Vonda Morris.
Fashion Assistant: Ansley Burnette
