The Dewy Dudes Play Fuck, Marry, Kill with Moisturizing Ointments

“How did our men go from Numetal to NuFace? From doing it for the Nookie to doing it on Nootropics?” reads a meme on the @dewydudes Instagram. But the skincare meme page’s moderators and eponymous podcast hosts Emilio Quezada Ibañez and Evan Shinn are proudly part of the problem. From Le Labo bros to Mexican tret trafficking to penis enlargement surgery, the NYC-based hydration enthusiasts get into a boys’ beauty breakdown on their podcast with guests like Caroline Calloway and Nolita Dirtbag. For this week’s edition of SEARCH HISTORY, Emilio and Evan join us to tell all on viral skincare fads, bathroom cabinet red flags, and creepy text messages.

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INTERVIEW: A/S/L?

EVAN SHINN: 29/M/BK

EMILIO QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: 30/M/Brooklyn

INTERVIEW: What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

SHINN: I run out and get my GF an iced cafecito.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Almost always get up, go to the restroom, take a look in the mirror, and see what kind of eye baggage I’m working with for the day.

INTERVIEW: What were your most recent Google searches?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: I’m on a nationwide tour right now so it’s kind of chaotic.

SHINN: Going through the motions lately.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Wow, he’s tryna build a life.

INTERVIEW: Favorite meme format?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Idk why I think it’s funny when I see really simple old formats start to pop up on meme accounts from Mexico. So right now, it’s the “there will be signs when I’m rich” format.

SHINN: I want to share so much with you. Not really a format, but anything completely cooked with a punchline that starts with “shittt” will always get me.

INTERVIEW: Describe your private browsing persona in 3 words.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Researching shawty’s Linkedin.

SHINN: Needa one dance. Jk. Needa one job.

INTERVIEW: FMK ointments: Cerave, Aquaphor, Vaseline?

SHINN: Fuck Vaseline, marry Aquaphor, kill Cerave.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Fuck Vaseline, marry Cerave, kill Aquaphor.

INTERVIEW: Most recent thing TikTok made you buy?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: I actually don’t scroll TikTok at all, I just post on it sometimes. I think I opened the app one time and a video by our friend @skinbygill was the first thing on my feed and that led me to buying Stratia’s Rewind Serum.

SHINN: Yeah, I’m the same. A lot of my TikTok consumption I get via Twitter amplifying whoever is character of the week. I did buy some eggs, feta, tortillas and chili oil once because I saw this woman fry up a breakfast taco in like 5 seconds.

INTERVIEW: Biggest bathroom cabinet red flag?

SHINN: When bro has a complete Aesop lineup. I’m sure there are worse bathroom sins, but ignorance can be forgiven.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Agreed, for some reason it’s the one brand lineup with all the bottles basically full and most definitely expired, like they have a nice layer of dust and goo on em.

INTERVIEW: Biggest green flag?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Biologique Recherche subtly sprinkled in.

SHINN: Or when the whole cabinet is looking like a Violet Grey editor’s list.

INTERVIEW: Choose one: money or clout.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Money lol.

SHINN: Money.

INTERVIEW: Most you’ve ever spent on a beauty product?

SHINN: $250 on some BR products during a Rescue Spa visit.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Luckily a lot of the more expensive products I’d been wanting to try for ages we’ve been sent (TY Augustinus Bader and Violet Grey). VG sent us this $180 freeze-dried hyaluronic acid anti-aging system. But recently spent $100 on two of these tiny bottles. Dropped one and it all spilled out.

SHINN: Yeah we’ve been spoiled to the point where anytime I have to re-up on something at Sephora in a pinch, I’m shocked at just how expensive skincare can be.

INTERVIEW: Freeze-dried HA sounds sexy. What’s a website everyone should know about?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Evan, what’s that travel-sized skincare website?

SHINN: Searching our discord for that… shop100ml.com.

INTERVIEW: Worst viral skincare fad?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: I think this was only viral for a certain segment of the online community, but DIY beef tallow balms, oil, moisturizer, etc.

 

SHINN: Not sure if were still in this moment, but watching the whole trad health-inspired sunscreen truthing has been exhausting.

INTERVIEW: Where do you spend the most time online?

SHINN: X dot com baby.

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Instagram for sure, scrolling mindlessly. And then Wikipedia close second, looking at soccer player’s stats and researching what they did in the twilight years of their careers. A bad addiction.

INTERVIEW: If you could spend the day with one IG influencer, who would it be?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: Evan Shinn of Dewy Dudes.

SHINN: Yeah, let’s keep it in the family.

INTERVIEW: Awww. Strangest DM you’ve received?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: The message request with “view photo” is always scary. This isn’t a DM, but one time I received this:

SHINN: Only sweeties in our online community.

INTERVIEW: What’s your password?

QUEZADA IBAÑEZ: **********

SHINN: It’s Glossier-inspired if anyone wants to have a crack at it.