Sonja Morgan Spills Her Secrets in the Uber to Her Caburlesque Show

Of the numerous homes that have appeared on the Real Housewives franchise over the years, Sonja Morgan’s stately five-bedroom townhouse on the Upper East Side exists in a league of its own. It’s where Tinsley Mortimer shacked up when she returned to New York City, and where Morgan hastily washed her panties in a bidet before a date. Last Friday, as she prepared for back-to-back caburlesque shows at City Winery, she invited Interview to come hang out in the master bathroom as she sat in hair and makeup. Then, in an Uber downtown with her intern Haley, Sonja talked to us about channeling her pain into humor and why you should never, ever touch the Morgan letters.

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JAKE NEVINS: I am in the car with one and only Sonja Morgan of The Real Housewives of New York on our way to her Caburlesque show. Sonja, what can we expect tonight?

SONJA MORGAN: Expect the unexpected, because it is improv comedy. Every show is different. I used to sing songs. I had these ditties, like “That’s the Bitch on the Upper East Side” and “Sonja in Your City,” but now I’m just the whole bowl of sugar. I let most people go, like my director, my pianist. Now I just do my own stand-up improv show.

NEVINS: This is real grassroots stuff.

MORGAN: Grassroots, because of the expenses.

NEVINS: Right. I think it’ll work because you’re very funny. I’m curious, can you teach funny? Or does it come naturally to you?

MORGAN: You should be my moderator tonight, because you’re very funny.

NEVINS: I have stage fright.

MORGAN: Oh. Well, it does come naturally. I think it comes from pain and strife growing up. My mom would say, “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry,” and sometimes it’s just not appropriate to cry because people depend on me. And not just the interns. I have to make sure they learn enough so they don’t get fired at their first job or quit.

NEVINS: Your intern Haley is with us. Haley, what have you learned from Sonja?

HALEY: I don’t know, she teaches me a lot. I’ve learned how to be very professional.

MORGAN: I know what you learned today.

HALEY: Today?

MORGAN: How to write a check.

HALEY: I learned how to write a check today.

NEVINS: Is that right?

MORGAN: It’s archaic, because we all do these mobile deposits and everything is emailed. So she learned to write a check out today, and several interns have. When I went to school, they taught us how to do that.

NEVINS: And now you’re showing kids to do the same at the Sonja Morgan Center for Career Advancement.

MORGAN: Over lunch at the townhouse.

NEVINS: Of course. You said humor comes from pain.  When’s the last time you had a good laugh?

MORGAN: Every time I do the show, I laugh my ass off. It’s a lot of fun. And the good thing is, I’m old enough, I’m divorced, I’m supporting myself and supporting my daughter on my own. There’s no money coming from anybody else, even though everybody thinks I’m living off Morgan money. I’m not, so I get to do whatever the F I want.

NEVINS: Hell yeah.

MORGAN: And just don’t touch the fucking Morgan letters, because I’m very proud of my marriage and my daughter and I still love my husband. People don’t know the background and they don’t need to know because it’s private.

NEVINS: Which fellow Housewife is most likely to show up tonight?

MORGAN: Luann. She came in a wig last time and sat in the back.

NEVINS: Do you think she was trying to upstage you?

MORGAN: No, no, no. We’re really good friends. She was in the back thinking no one would recognize her, but some of the young people in the front were like, “Luann’s here, Luann’s here.” I’m like, “What?”

NEVINS: Who’s least likely to show up?

MORGAN: Ramona, because she’s dating this guy and she’s jet-setting. She’s living her best life. She’s kind of fancy. But Luann’s a cabaret star, so she loves all of this.

NEVINS: That said, it’s important to remember that life is not a cabaret, as Bethenny said.

MORGAN: Life is not a cabaret, but it can be Caburlesque.

NEVINS: This is true. You’ve been hanging out with Jessel a bit. What do you think of the RHONY reboot?

MORGAN: I don’t watch TV. I don’t even watch my own shows.

NEVINS: You’re too busy writing checks.

MORGAN: Yeah, a lot of checks. It’s kind of sickening, but that’s why I’m selling the house. I’m not going to rent it out any longer, so it is going on the chopping block with Concierge Auctions. I’m looking forward to moving on and being more of an artist again. Like, a true artist.

CONNOR NORTON: Will you stay in the city?

MORGAN: Oh, I’ll always be a New Yorker, but I’m definitely going to be going somewhere warm where I can do my thing. I’m thinking about California, because my daughter lives there now.

NEVINS: Wow, Sonja in Los Angeles?

MORGAN: Well, my bestie Josh Flagg lives there. We took a bath together. We always take baths together, but this time I videotaped it. I can’t wait to release those.

NEVINS: That could fetch a lot of money.

MORGAN: Really? Should I sell it?

NEVINS: Yes. By the way, if you’re going to California, you could really shake up the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

MORGAN: I’d love to pop in as a friend-visitor. Like, “Help me with my wardrobe, because I’m just getting back out there.”

NEVINS: Some of those ladies could use the help.

MORGAN: No, I could use some help. Everything I own is in storage, or I wear things once and then I give them to the interns. Haley’s taken a few things home.

HALEY: Yeah.

MORGAN: Wouldn’t you say that’s one of the benefits?

HALEY: Absolutely.

MORGAN: And then our drinks out on the town?

HALEY: Yeah. The dinners are always fun.

MORGAN: We went to P.J. Clarke’s. That’s epic.

NEVINS: That’s always fun. What’s a perfect date night in New York?

MORGAN: At home, in the four-poster bed with my lover, my Viking. He likes to order in, so we’ll have Chinese, Indian, sushi and a bottle of whatever. We have so much fun watching crime stories, just chilling out, vegging. Veg, veg, veg.

NEVINS: What’s your favorite true crime show?

MORGAN: Snapped. It’s so good.

NORTON: I’ve seen that one.

NEVINS: What is that?

MORGAN: Oh, it’s so good. They’ll have this woman and they say, “She went to Harvard, she supported her husband through everything, and then when he became a doctor, he cheated on her.” Right? So, she runs him over. And in court they’re like, “After you ran him over, why’d you back up?” She goes, “To make sure he was dead.”

NEVINS: Wow.

MORGAN: Oh, I’ve got more. There’s another woman, they asked her, “Why did you choke your husband with an electrical cord on a lamp?” She said, “Because I didn’t have anything else.” They all snapped. They’re just like, “I reached the end of my rope.”

NEVINS: Andy Cohen, are you paying attention? Get these ladies on Housewives.

MORGAN: They should have me on Bloomberg. I should be one of the announcers, like Tamron Hall.

NEVINS: You know what I want to see you on? Traitors.

MORGAN: Oh, yes. They asked me to do it in the first season and I’m supposed to be texting back about it.

NEVINS: Oh, you’ve got to do it, Sonja.

NORTON: You would be so good.

MORGAN: I should be on Traitors?

NEVINS: Yes.

MORGAN: They tried to get me in this season, but it was too late. I had a glitch with my emails and stuff.

NEVINS: They put you in a big mansion in the Scottish highlands.

MORGAN: Oh, I need to do it. Somebody said I should be a wild card. What does that mean?

NEVINS: I don’t know, but you’re always a wild card.

NORTON: That’s somebody that comes in halfway through the game and kind of shakes things up a little bit. 

MORGAN: Oh, I’ll turn the tables. I’ll dance on tables. I’ll shake it up.

NEVINS: You’ve been known to do that. By the way, we’re passing Lincoln Center right now. When’s the last time you went to the ballet?

MORGAN: I was just there at the jazz section for Roadhouse, that opening I was telling you about. It was Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor McGregor, and my friend Lukas Gage.

NEVINS: There you go. Now we’re passing P.J. Clarke’s, your favorite.

MORGAN: Which I take my interns to. But not that one. It’s more expensive.

NEVINS: Who’s your favorite New York City mayor?

MORGAN: Oh, definitely Giuliani. I know it’s a sticky subject right now, but him and Bloomberg were the best.

NEVINS: Okay.

MORGAN: Actually, I would say Bloomberg is my favorite.

NEVINS: Favorite New York City neighborhood?

MORGAN: Upper East Side.

NORTON: The best Broadway show you’ve ever seen in New York?

MORGAN: Oh, definitely Cats. Or Chicago. I went to see my girl Erika Jayne. I went after getting my facelift. I was so puffy, but I went to support her.

NEVINS: Let’s shout out your surgeon.

MORGAN: Oh, Dr. Jacono is the best. Andrew Jacono.

NEVINS: You and Erika would make a good team.

MORGAN: I’ll tell you, that girl will always survive. We don’t have to depend on men. If I go to Beverly Hills, I’ll be hanging out with her in our little one-bedrooms. Actually, I think she has a two-bedroom now, but one is a closet. She said she’s so happy.

NEVINS: Sometimes simplicity is good.

MORGAN: I agree.

NEVINS: What’s your all-time favorite New York City scandal?

MORGAN: I’d have to say [Elliot] Spitzer, when he got caught at the Mayflower. What was her name? I think she dates Harry Dubin. Or she’s friends with Harry Dubin now.

NEVINS: Everyone crosses paths with that man.

MORGAN: Yeah, they do. What was her name, the one Spitzer was with? Okay, whatever. Next.

NEVINS: How do you feel about legal weed in New York?

MORGAN: Great. I don’t smoke, but I love the gummies, especially before bed.

NEVINS: When’s the last time you rode the subway?

MORGAN: I haven’t done that since COVID. I never went back to it. Because you know me, I was never really a person to get in a car with a driver. I like to walk. And I think at my age, it served me well, plus those stairs in the townhouse.

NEVINS: Those stairs are legit. I’m feeling the burn.

MORGAN: The burn, yeah. Nice ass.

NEVINS: Thanks. What’s your favorite NYC movie theater?

MORGAN: Oh, the Angelika.

NEVINS: Are you a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte or Samantha?

MORGAN: Which one’s the sexy one?

NEVINS: Samantha.

MORGAN: Yeah, I love Samantha. She’s a fan of mine, too. What’s her name, the actress?

NEVINS: Kim Cattrall.

MORGAN: Kim Cattrall. I like people who are sexually open and not uptight about it. And if I find someone that is uptight, I can usually help them come out of their slump. Ask Luann, I’m a great wing woman.

NEVINS: I’m sure. Who’s the last Housewife you texted with?

MORGAN: Luanne just texted me and I haven’t texted her back, so let me do that. She’s always complaining about that.

NEVINS: Can you read us what she texted you?

MORGAN: Yeah, sure. She said, “Break a leg tonight. How are you, darling? Hugs to your beautiful daughter. When are you in New York?” Because she always likes to hang.

NEVINS: Sorry that I’m looking over your shoulder, but I’m noticing that you’ve left her on read a couple times now.

MORGAN: She complains about that, but she knows I love her and she knows that I have too many balls in the air right now.

NEVINS: You’ve got mouths to feed.

MORGAN: And it’s only me supporting my daughter. I don’t go to lunch, I don’t shop. And she knows that. It’s not like I’m cheating on her.

NEVINS: Never.

MORGAN: On Crappie Lake, we’d get in the car and she’d go, “You need more color.” And then she’d take her lipstick out and—

NEVINS: Connor loves Crappie Lake.

NORTON: Yeah. Have you gone back there at all?

MORGAN: Well, I fly them in. Craig and his family and I are very close, so I flew Craig in. 

NORTON: What’s up with Richard?

MORGAN: Oh, Richard. He really changed my concept of men. I was like, “Why am I dating these guys with Hermes jackets when I can be with a real man?” He’s in the septic system business.

NORTON: He was pretty hot.

NEVINS: Do you ever rewatch old RHONY clips?

MORGAN: No, I really don’t watch shows. Living it is painful enough. I don’t like seeing myself on television.

NEVINS: Oh, really?

MORGAN: I don’t like hearing my voice.