RORSCHACH TEST
Robby Hoffman on Synagogue, Small Talk, and Psychoanalysis
Robby Hoffman wears Top Loewe. Glasses and Earring (worn throughout) Robby’s Own.
No one is off-limits when Robby Hoffman grabs the mic. A master of the zinger, the comedian and podcast host formerly known as Rivkah (also the title of her autobiographical series in development at Showtime) left her Hasidic upbringing behind to pursue her dreams of becoming the gayest and Jewiest superstar on the planet. So sit back and enjoy the show.
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GIGS
“Great money. Let’s do arenas.”
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HOTEL ROOMS
“I don’t like my house to look like a hotel, but I love a hotel. And I do wish they’d bring back maid service and all that stuff. I don’t want to request it.”
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NIGHTMARES
“I have them all the time on account of PTSD from an unstable early childhood.”
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CROWD WORK
“What about it?”
Hoodie, Top, and Pants Balenciaga.
GOSSIP
“Listen, if you worked as a lumberjack, would you not talk about wood? I work with people, that’s my business, so I talk about people.”
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BIANCA CENSORI
“Trapped by your own volition. Have you seen the documentary on NXIVM? That’s it.”
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THE POLO LOUNGE
“When I was doing open mics, I would visit L.A. three weeks at a time, and it was hell on earth. But I realized that a beer is pretty much 7 dollars wherever you go. Maybe 9. So I would treat myself. I’d drive to Beverly Hills, go to the Polo Lounge and have a beer at the bar because it was still 7 dollars. I sat next to Ralph Lauren and two models once. Ralph Lifshitz, if we’re honest.”
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GLASSES
“Necessary.”
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BOYS
“Coolest pronoun? He, him, no question. It’s just the facts.”
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SMALL TALK
“My small talk is real talk. How much sex are you having a week? How much money’s in your checking account? The reason it’s so bad is because most people are bad at it, but I have nothing to do with that.”
Jacket, Tank Top, and Jeans Banana Republic.
JEWS
“Beyond annoying.”
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MERCH
“I can’t with it. I don’t want your t-shirt. That said, I’m going to be putting out merch, but really good key chains, water bottles, and maybe mini tissue packets.”
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THE ICK
“Just so gay. I don’t like popular terminology.”
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MATZAH
“Really good with cream cheese, but much too expensive. We’ve got to talk about it.”
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NDAS
“Useless. Your secret is not safe with me.”
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SYNAGOGUE
“A ticking time bomb at this point. I tried to go, and the security guard was sitting on a chair. I’m like, ‘Up, up, up.’”
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BAGELS
“Amazing. I’m from Montreal and New York, so, bagels.”
Top and Pants Loewe. Shoes Camper.
WATER BOTTLES
“I like the Nalgene water bottle. I got one from A24.”
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BEN SHAPIRO
“Very smart, very annoying. Maybe a lesbian.”
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PSYCHOANALYSIS
“I’m Jewish, it’s just endless.”
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POPPERS
“I don’t know much about them, but I hear it’s a good 30 seconds of your life. Am I wrong, fellas?”
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ANTIDEPRESSANTS
“Good. Really good. But the world shouldn’t be in a place where everybody needs them.”
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AUBREY GRAHAM
“Oh, is that Drake? That’s Drake. A rich Jewish kid from Toronto who just did his shit. His kid is cute, too.”
Tank Top and Jeans Loewe. Shoes Camper. Bracelet Robby’s Own.
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Hair: Cameron Rains using Living Proof at Forward Artists.
Makeup: Nick Lennon using Pat Mcgrath Labs.
Fashion Assistant: Cole Norton.
Production Management: Alaura Wong.
