Lana Rhoades and Julia Fox Go Deep on Celibacy, Advocacy, and OnlyFans

When Lana Rhoades shows up at Julia Fox’s apartment for an interview, nothing is off the table. Best known for her brief stint in the adult film industry, Rhoades has seen it all—a perspective she brought to her popular podcast 3 Girls 1 Kitchen, one part of a postporn career that has also seen her walk for brands like Alexander Wang and Dilara Findikoglu. Now, the 27-year-old model is stepping into a new role: motherhood. It’s one that Fox knows well. While their sons play upstairs, the duo go deep on celibacy, advocacy, and OnlyFans.

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SUNDAY 1 PM JULY 7, 2024 NYC

JULIA FOX: I feel like since I first met you, you’ve completely skyrocketed in fashion and art.

LANA RHOADES: You think so?

FOX: Yeah. I was really intrigued by you because of your background in the sex industry, and then you went on to be a mom on your own. I was also doing the single mom thing and I was just like, “How?”

RHOADES: Were you raised by your parents together?

FOX: No. Were you?

RHOADES: No. It was always just my mom, so it seemed normal to me.

FOX: Where are you from originally?

RHOADES: Chicago.

FOX: Could you ever have imagined being here when you first started? Because you started in the sex industry really young.

RHOADES: At 19.

FOX: Yeah, a baby, which should be illegal.

RHOADES: I think they should raise it to 21.

FOX: Yeah, because your frontal whatever isn’t even developed. Not to sound judgy of the porn industry, because I’m not, but there are a select few girls who make it out and become known for other things. It’s still this scarlet letter.

RHOADES: I definitely hear about it no matter what job I do, but it doesn’t get to me anymore. As long as I’m living my life the way that I want, I don’t really care.

FOX: I loved your Poster Girl campaign and you’ve been walking in so many shows. I feel like you’re taking the fashion world by storm. Porn girlies are really that girl.

RHOADES: Yeah.

FOX: Also, to be able to have sex, to me is—wow.

RHOADES: I’ve been celibate, so I don’t even do that.

FOX: I’ve been celibate, too.

RHOADES: Since you had your baby, right?

FOX: I was still having sex for a year after that, and then something snapped. I’m at two and a half years.

RHOADES: I’m only at a year and a half.

FOX: Wow. Do you think motherhood profoundly changed the way that you view men and the way you view sex and the way you view yourself?

RHOADES: Honestly, it wasn’t a choice. I just naturally wasn’t interested in dating, and it kind of made me sad at first. I was like, “Why can’t I form that connection with someone or want to be intimate with them?” But now I feel so much more positive.

FOX: Have you ever considered that you might be a lesbian?

RHOADES: I wish that I was. I wish that I liked someone. But no, vagina just doesn’t do it for me.

FOX: I’ve been going through a lot of changes. I was so conditioned to use my body and my identity to cater to men, because they were a means to an end. But as a child, I would openly identify. In third grade, I was like, “I’m a lesbian.”

RHOADES: Do you think you are now?

FOX: Now that I’ve had so much time away from men, I’m like, “Oh my god. I really was a lesbian all along.” I didn’t even allow myself to go there, because I was like, “I need a sugar daddy.” But now, looking back at all my past behaviors, I’m like, “Obviously you are a lesbian.”

RHOADES: This whole thing is confusing to me. Women, I find more of them more attractive than men. But me and one of my best friends, we hooked up and it just doesn’t do anything for me.

FOX: Interesting. And you also mentioned that you’re autistic.

RHOADES: Yeah. Which I guess—

FOX: Which also could change the way that you view connections. You might be more—not pansexual, but when you’re just attracted to people’s minds?

RHOADES: Sapiosexual? Honestly, I feel like I’m mostly asexual now.

FOX: Do you think that means you’re not in touch with your sexuality at all? Because from my experience, when sexuality became a commodity, I started to view every encounter I had with men differently. Even a conversation, I’d be like, “I could be getting paid for this.” What you’re selling is your connection.

RHOADES: I always had separate categories for them. Back when I used to date and also do sex work, there was always one boy that I liked for a really long time and didn’t view the same as the other guys.

FOX: And I’m sure any guy you had a real emotional connection with got super jealous.

RHOADES: Only my ex-husband was jealous. The guys that I’ve been really obsessed with, we never dated.

FOX: Right. When I was dating and had sugar daddies or whatever, guys would be cool in the beginning and then they’d start to lose their fucking minds.

RHOADES: I don’t know if I usually get close enough to people for them to be jealous.

FOX: Really? How old are you again?

RHOADES: Twenty-seven.

FOX: Oh my god. You’re still so young.

RHOADES: How old are you?

FOX: Thirty-four. I’m old. I love it though. I feel so much more grounded. Where do you want to be by 30?

RHOADES: I want all my clothing stuff and everything that I’m doing to be solidified. It’s only a year that I’ve been back doing OnlyFans, but I’m probably going to stop again.

FOX: How much money do you make from OnlyFans?

RHOADES: A lot.

FOX: In the millions?

RHOADES: Yeah.

FOX: Per month or per year?

RHOADES: Per year.

FOX: Wow.

RHOADES: That’s why it’s hard leaving sex work and finding other income that supports your lifestyle.

FOX: I know, it fucking sucks. You could just do both though, fashion and OnlyFans, and then eventually the fashion will make enough money. You’ll have your Skims moment.

RHOADES: That’s why I’m buckling down. I haven’t even been hanging out with friends. I’ve literally been working every day, then spending my extra time with the baby.

FOX: What else do you want to do? Walk for Gucci?

RHOADES: I’m too short. I can get jobs, but I don’t like the way I look on the runway.

FOX: You look so good on the runway.

RHOADES: I always hate my Vogue shots, so I’m like, “Hmm. I think there’s a reason why short girls don’t belong on the runway.” [Laughs] Not to discourage people, but I’m stepping a little bit back from my goal because I’m just not made for it.

FOX: Kate Moss was your height and she fucking slayed the runway.

RHOADES: She’s five-six. I’m five-five.

FOX: I’m five-five too.

RHOADES: Really? You seem so much taller.

FOX: I have a tall aura. [Laughs]

RHOADES: I feel teeny compared to you.

FOX: Well, you’re thinner than me. You have a smaller frame. I’m wide. I’ve got big shoulders.

RHOADES: I don’t know if I agree with that. You’re really skinny. You just have big boobs and a big butt.

FOX: My butt is the bane of my fucking existence. I hate it.

RHOADES: I hate mine too. Even though I bought it. [Laughs]

FOX: I was born with mine, which makes it not fun because it’s saggy and not cute.

RHOADES: Mine’s saggy too.

FOX: Your butt is not saggy, babe.

RHOADES: I want it gone.

FOX: Is it silicone or is it—

RHOADES: It’s silicone and I’ve lipo’d it two times.

FOX: I was going to say, there’s no way you have a BBL because you have no fat on your body at all. Weren’t you scared to do silicone? I’ve almost been there where I’m like, “Okay, I’m going to get it nice and lifted.” And then I hear the horror stories.

RHOADES: My experience was fine.

FOX: It was obviously a backdoor situation though.

RHOADES: Yeah. Me and my girlfriend, we got this lady’s contact from a strip club that we used to work at.

FOX: What strip club?

RHOADES: It’s in Chicago. It’s called the Admiral Theatre. Really classy. But we got the contact from another girl and we flew to Atlanta, Georgia, and it was in a motel.

FOX: How old were you?

RHOADES: Twenty.

FOX: Wow. So you were dancing in Chicago?

RHOADES: I used to work there but I was doing porn at this point. We were trying to figure out how to get hips and a butt, because I had a really straight body. But then I ended up being like, “Make me look like Nicki Minaj.”

FOX: Oh my gosh. How was the process of getting the silicone out?

RHOADES: Lipo is the most painful thing ever. I feel so bad for girls that do BBLs.

FOX: I know. You can’t sit down and it’s a whole thing. So in terms of family that helps you with your child—it’s just you and Milo?

RHOADES: Yeah, just me and Milo and my best friend Eva. I don’t trust any nannies or sitters.

FOX: I’m the same way.

RHOADES: She’s literally flying in just to watch him, because I have work on Monday and Tuesday. She’s my biggest support with Milo.

FOX: She’s your co-parent.

RHOADES: Yeah.

FOX: That’s what I say about my friend Emma, she’s my co-parent because Valentino’s dad is really inconsistent. I’m lucky that I have family here to help, but even that doesn’t feel like enough sometimes. Raising a child is so much work, especially when you’re the breadwinner and have to be public facing. There’s days where I’m like, “I just want to quit.”

RHOADES: Same. I’m like, “I don’t want to have the stress or anxiety on me anymore, and just be able to spend time with my son.” If anything happened to him, I wouldn’t be able to live.

FOX: I feel the same way. Sometimes I’m at the playground and I’ll be on my phone, and I’ll look up and can’t find him. In those 10 seconds, I’m screaming. I’m like, “Red shirt, blue pants!” And then he’s right behind the slide and everyone’s looking at me. [Laughs]

RHOADES: Are you part of any of the mom groups around here?

FOX: Not really.

RHOADES: There is a guy right now going to parks with an empty stroller trying to take little boys.

FOX: You’re kidding me.

RHOADES: I hate pedophiles. It’s like—

FOX: I know. I want to kill them all.

RHOADES: There would be less people doing that to children if it was an automatic death sentence. Why do we have such soft punishment?

FOX: You know what your next era should be? Politics.

RHOADES: I was thinking about it. I feel so passionately about that and all the homeless people in New York. We’re just leaving these people on the street—

FOX: To die, pretty much.

RHOADES: Yeah. We all just walk past them. We have become so desensitized and that’s fucking crazy to me.

FOX: You’re a very sensitive and compassionate person. You should totally be lobbying, going to Washington, speaking to Congress. It’s going to be so fucking iconic and I think that it will lead into more of the things you want to be doing. People just need to know what you stand for. You’ve done so much, but who are you?

RHOADES: Yeah.

FOX: People don’t get to see this side of you because they get so stuck on the way you look, and it would be so amazing to turn that on its head, put on your glasses and your suit, and storm the Capitol. I would team up with a lawyer girl who’s also really passionate, who knows how to do all this stuff and just fucking do it. I know I’m putting a lot on you right now. You’re a single mom of a toddler, but I feel like you should do it and just bring Milo along.

RHOADES: Yeah, we pack backpacks for homeless people on the weekends and I bring him with.

FOX: That’s so nice.

RHOADES: I want him to grow up and feel the way that I feel. I relate more to homeless people, like if someone doesn’t have any issues or has had this perfect life, I don’t relate to them at all.

FOX: Same.

RHOADES: I think that’s why I have so much compassion, because I feel like, “That’s me.”

FOX: Well I know you struggle, because realistically, if you didn’t look the way you look, if you weren’t blessed with the brain that you have, you’d probably be in a similar predicament—because you don’t have the family support. I feel the same exact way.

RHOADES: I would probably live in public housing and have a Link Card, which is something we have in Illinois. I don’t know if we have it here.

FOX: We have EBT.

RHOADES: Other people in my family are on that, so that’s probably what my life would be.

FOX: Well, that’s a really unique perspective to have and you should totally put it to use. Because not that many people from where you come from have made it to where you are. How long have you been living in New York?

RHOADES: Since last fashion week.

FOX: So you just came for fashion week and never left? I love that. Are you happier in New York than L.A.?

RHOADES: I don’t miss L.A. at all. The last time I went, I felt like I was in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I like it so much better here, and I’ve had a lot of personal growth. A lot of the things that made me really unhappy were about myself, which I guess were characteristics of being autistic. I just learned how to clean my house. I’ve had a housekeeper since I was 19, coming multiple times a week. Now, I’ve been keeping my own house clean for months. They’re small wins, but it’s stuff that made me feel really bad about myself.

FOX: I struggle with self-care a lot, too.

RHOADES: Like showering.

FOX: Exactly. I shower maybe twice a week. I’m disgusting.

RHOADES: I used to be worse but now I try to shower every day. I’m working on one thing at a time. I haven’t been seeing friends or anyone for four or five months.

FOX: Is that intentional?

RHOADES: I don’t really want to, because I’m so focused on other things. The people that I was surrounding myself with in L.A. and the things that I was valuing were really hindering my growth.

FOX: That’s amazing that you can see that, because so many people get so lost in their shit.

RHOADES: For a year I was so focused on this one specific boy. I was like, “I have to have him.” I was going to parties and stuff. Like what the fuck was I doing? I accomplished nothing in a year, besides jobs here or there like the Alexander Wang show, which I was so grateful for.

FOX: I feel like you’re coming into your moment.

RHOADES: Thank you.

FOX: There’s just the pulse right now. People are tired of rich people. People are tired of celebrities. People are starting to realize that we’re being gaslit on a massive scale. We’re supposed to applaud these nepotism kids for their mediocrity? It’s just like, “What?”

RHOADES: I mean, I like some of them, like Bella Hadid.

FOX: Love her. She doesn’t count.

RHOADES: She was made to be a model. If I looked like her, I would want to walk runways.

FOX: One could argue though that she underwent a lot of physical changes to achieve that. So was she meant for it, or did she also make that opportunity for herself?

RHOADES: You think so? When I lose a lot of weight, my cheeks get really, really hollow and I get accused of buccal fat removal. At one point I had a lot of filler, but it looked so trash. It made me so ugly. Now I don’t have any, besides maybe some residual in my lip, but people always think that pretty girls have so much more done than they have.

FOX: It’s true. I’m always getting accused of stuff, and I’m like, “Dude, I was getting Botox and filler when I was like 20.” Now that I’m in my thirties, I couldn’t give a fuck less. Also, the girls that are 25 who are getting filler, they look like they’re 40. It ages you.

RHOADES: I maybe dropped myself down like five points when I had my whole face filled. I looked so crazy.

FOX: And now you look like, wait, who’s the Breakfast at Tiffany’s girl?

RHOADES: Audrey Hepburn?

FOX: Yeah. You look like Audrey Hepburn with the short little pixie cut. The way you look, the way you dress, it feels very classic, simple, clean, natural.

RHOADES: Thank you. I’m coming into my real aesthetic lately.

FOX: Because you’re learning who you are when you’re not trying to look hot for men. Why did you cut your hair off?

RHOADES: Well, I used to have really long hair, but I saw a vintage picture of Shalom Harlow and she looked so pretty, I was like, “I have to do it.” I’m very impulsive with my hair, I’ll just cut it off or bleach it.

FOX: I love it. When I’m done with the blonde, I’m going to have to cut it off because it’s all fried and gross.

RHOADES: That’s why my hair was short too.

FOX: I want to do a little Elvis hairdo, like coiffed. Hair is so important for women, and to just cut it all off and be like, “Fuck that,” feels really empowering.

RHOADES: Like, “We don’t need hair. We’re already beautiful.”

FOX: I know. Why do we impose all these things on ourselves? The internet’s always coming up with a new thing, like now it’s facial harmony.

RHOADES: Like, “You have bad features and good facial harmony.” It’s so tough to be a woman, especially now because people are so used to seeing filters. People will be like, “Oh, you looked so much better back then.” I used to edit the fuck out of my photos. Unless you look perfect, you look like trash.

FOX: I know. I don’t edit any of my pictures. In a way, it feels like a subtle rebellion.

RHOADES: I still edit my body sometimes. I use the little thing to make me look taller.

FOX: You’re going to have to teach me, actually.

RHOADES: Oh, it’s just switching the projection on your iPhone settings. But sometimes I will make my waist less square, so I’m not completely there yet where I’m super comfortable. But I used to go ham.

FOX: That’s crazy, because if I had your body, I’d be walking down the street naked.

RHOADES: We all don’t like what we have.

FOX: It’s true. But you have a very athletic build, too. You’re toned—

RHOADES: Girl, I hate it.

FOX: Really? I love strong women. But that’s the lesbian in me.

RHOADES: I want to get on estrogen because I want less muscle. I’ve had my thighs Botoxed, like my whole thigh.

FOX: I didn’t even know that was a thing.

RHOADES: I found a Korean doctor that does it here.

FOX: And what does it do?

RHOADES: I just have huge muscles. Even my obliques right here, they stick out and he won’t Botox them for me because it’s not something that he’s done before.

FOX: Right, right, right. It could paralyze you for six months. You might not be able to bend over.

RHOADES: Or you wouldn’t be able to hold your stomach in. I Botoxed my calves too, but they still look kind of big. I haven’t worked out in three years. I’m like, “Why do I have muscles?”

FOX: You look like you work out every day.

RHOADES: And my arms, like, look at that—

FOX: That’s amazing. I would die for that.

RHOADES: I hate it. It looks so manly.

FOX: Have you ever considered acting?

RHOADES: People keep asking me that. I guess I have a lot of experience. [Laughs]

FOX: Babe, you literally have to fake orgasms and make it believable.

RHOADES: Yeah. And we had our little actor bits, too.

FOX: Do you have a manager who is in the acting world?

RHOADES: No. My manager used to be one of the owners at MSCHF, and after he quit there, he was like, “Lana, let me manage you.” We’re really good friends, so I just went with it. He’s so cool.

FOX: Do you have an agency?

RHOADES: No. I get all my jobs just from people DMing me on Instagram.

FOX: Wow. Well I’m sure after this interview drops, you’re going to have a lot of people knocking down your door.

RHOADES: I don’t think modeling agencies are interested in me, because of the porn thing.

FOX: You need to talk about that. If something is hindering you, you need to be vocal about it and set the bar for yourself, like, “Hey, I’m not going to be ashamed of who the fuck I am.”

RHOADES: I’m not. I know who I am.

FOX: That’s what I’m saying. I love when I see a girl like you or Chloe Cherry come up, because I see myself in you guys and I want that representation. We just need to be more assertive and not be like, “Oh, they don’t want me.” Like, womp, womp. Fuck that.

RHOADES: I know. I’m just not the type. If someone says they don’t want me, I’m like, “Okay. I’ll just figure out something else to do.” But I was one of the first girls from adult movies to get brand deals and do the Instagram model thing. Now, a lot of them get brand deals.

FOX: And so many girls are on OnlyFans now. There won’t be any girls left to hire.

RHOADES: Yeah. I also want to quit doing OnlyFans. I’m trying to make an AI Lana, which I think they should do for everyone. That’s the future of that industry.

FOX: I’ve had moments where I’m like, “Should I start an OnlyFans?” And then I’m like, “God, I can barely make content for my Instagram. I’m so fucking lazy.”

RHOADES: It’s like pulling teeth if you’re not a sexual person. It’s like, “God, I have to wear lingerie for this?” That’s why I like AI Lana.

FOX: I’m like, I have to shave for this. I have to put a self-tanner on because I’m translucent. I get it. But anyway, I feel like we got a good amount. Is there anything else you want to say?

RHOADES: I’ve done so many podcasts and interviews. They already know me.

FOX: Yeah, but this is major.

RHOADES: It’s coming out on my birthday.

FOX: When is that?

RHOADES: September 6.

FOX: Don’t tell me. You’re a Virgo. You have big Virgo energy.

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Hair: Blake Erik using ROZ at Forward Artists.

Makeup: Julian Stoller using MAC Cosmetics.

Nails: Leanne Woodley for She Nails It at See Management.

Photography Assistant: Conor Ralph.

Fashion Assistant: Natalie Cohen.

Production Assistant: Francisco Serrano.

Location: NYC Film Locations.