Johnny Knoxville on Dick Pics, Divorce, and Getting Hit in the Balls

It’s hard to imagine anyone who deserves the safe and comfortable perch of podcast host more than Johnny Knoxville, the stuntman and prankster who subjected his body to years of suffering for our entertainment as the co-creator and star of Jackass. Earlier this month, Knoxville, now 53, dropped his new podcast Pretty Sure I Can Fly, in which he and co-host Elna Baker of This American Life go deep with daredevils and thrill-seekers, including a man who wrestles alligators and a woman who rowed across the Atlantic Ocean by herself. Amazingly, Knoxville has done neither. But it’s not like he has anything left to prove. To mark the release of his podcast and the new film Sweet Dreams, starring Knoxville as the alcoholic coach of a rehab facility’s softball team, we tapped the jackass himself for this week’s Rorschach Test, in which he sounds off on everything and everyone from Steve-O and John Waters to dick pics and concussions.

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WORLD PEACE

“It’s a wonderful thought, but good fucking luck.”

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GETTING HIT IN THE BALLS

“It partly enabled me to have a career and it’s always fucking funny.”

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TRUE LOVE

“I learned the hard way that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot love anybody else.”

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STEVE-O

“I love him to pieces. I have such admiration how he turned his life around and did so much work on himself. When he was in the depth of alcohol and drugs, he was running off in one direction. I was always pretty hammered in those days and we couldn’t really see each other, like ships passing in the night. But now that we are in much, much better places, I can really appreciate him for the amazing spirit he is.”

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YOUR 50s

“How dare you?”

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DICK PICS

“I have some buddies that send them to me. You can’t imagine the amount of dick pics I have from [Chris] Pontius and they’re always hilarious. Unwanted or unprompted dick pics: bad. Wanted dick pics: awfully good.”

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WWE

“God, I loved smashing Sami Zayn right in his big, stupid face. It always takes me to a happy place.”

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JOHN WATERS

“One of my favorite people on the planet. There is not one subject you can bring up that he doesn’t have an intelligent, hilarious reply to. We’re very lucky to be alive at the same time as John Waters.”

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PODCASTING

“Jesus fucking Christ, it’s a lot of work. But if the worst problem I have is preparing for a podcast, holy fucking shit, things are pretty good for me.”

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OLYMPIC SKATEBOARDING

“Well, I feel two ways about it. Part of me is very happy it’s in the Olympics and part of me feels like skateboarding doesn’t need the fucking Olympics, right? But it’s great that it’s going to reach more people.”

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DIVORCE

“Painful, expensive, and to quote Willie Nelson, worth it.”

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VAPING

“It just looks silly.”

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MEN’S LOCKER ROOMS

“Woof. Yum. Actually, they smell fucking awful.”

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INTERVENTIONS

“I’ve seen them go well. I’ve seen them go bad. What makes them successful is when the person wants help. If they don’t want help, there’s nothing you can do.”

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MILFs

“MILFs, I don’t give too much thought to. Let’s talk about DILFs.”

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BEYONCÉ

“Someone brought that video up to me a week ago and I had no idea what he was talking about. I watched it and I don’t know what the big fucking deal is. I’m a huge Beyoncé fan and have nothing but love and respect for her, then and now.

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MTV

“Boy, have we had a long and storied relationship. We didn’t always get along or see eye to eye, but at the end of the day, the good outweighed the bad by a lot. I’m so appreciative.”

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RAY BANS

“They make me feel pretty.”

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CONCUSSIONS

“Well, they’re very liberating. I get to read a book four or five times for the first time. Look, I’ve had quite a lot of concussions and some were very, very troubling but I made it out the other side. I’ve been very, very lucky.”

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