RORSCHACH TEST

“I’m a WASP with a WAP”: Chloe Fineman on Chloe Fineman

Top by For Love & Lemons. Shorts Stylist’s Own.

Before she became a rising star on Saturday Night Live, Chloe Fineman was already one of Instagram’s most rewarding follows, an “if you know, you know” talent with a knack for impersonating the rich and ridiculous. Combining what she learned from her days as a drama student at NYU with her interest in the absurdity of celebrity culture, the wig-obsessed Bay Area native can transform into just about anyone with a Q-Rating, whether it’s nailing Carole Baskin’s portentous purr or perfecting Drew Barrymore’s lisp. Here, Fineman offers her thoughts on 14 topics chosen for her at semi-random.

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FEATURED PLAYER

“It’s like being a freshman in high school.”

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KATE MCKINNON

“She’s like a theater dame who’ll say, ‘Come here, young one. Let me tell you about the biz.’ She always has a cigarette in her hand, metaphorically speaking.”

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ELIZABETH HOLMES

“Currently making a cure for COVID?”

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SELLING SUNSET

“I fear for their lives as they’re walking up and down those stairs in those Louboutins. I did a Chrishell impression and she shared it. That was a big day for me.”

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#FREEBRITNEY

“I worship Britney, and I really think this might be the year. If I could contribute to her emancipation from her father in any way, that would be huge. I’ve been told I look like [Spears’s sister] Jamie Lynn, which is a compliment, but I’ve always wanted to be Britney.”

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“WAP”

“When I heard it, I kept telling my friends I had WAP, like, ‘I went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with WAP.’ Imagine a medical drama where it’s like, ‘Ma’am, you have WAP.’ “I’m a WASP with a WAP.”

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REESE WITHERSPOON, I

“I was planning to pitch her for one of the SNL at Home ‘MasterClass Quarantine Edition’ sketches, but I couldn’t find a take that was funny because I look up to her too much. Like, how do you teach a Master Class in killing it?”

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REESE WITHERSPOON, II

I impersonated her doing an Emmys ‘For Your Consideration’ video, and she responded with a bunch of fun emojis and wrote, ‘Just stay in character, honey.’ I found old interviews of her, like one she did with Diane Sawyer where she’s just so expressive. She said something like, ‘I gotta jump three feet into a cold pool.’ That made me laugh, so I started googling other southern phrases like, ‘Too hot for a chicken coop.’”

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CROSSFIT

“My family is very Royal Tenenbaums–y in the sense that we’ve all taken an activity and gone extreme with it. One of my sisters is a hardcore painter; another is hardcore into CrossFit. She’s in her 50s and ranked, like, seventh in the world. I’m hardcore into wigs.”

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WIGS

“They are hot in my murder shed right now. We’re having a heatwave and I’m worried for them. I keep online shopping because it’s the pandemic, and I forgot that one night I thought I might do Miley Cyrus or Grimes, so a few days later a crazy Harajuku wig and a Tiger King mullet came in the mail. I was like, ‘What the hell!’”

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FASHION

“My go-to quarantine lewk has been a shirt on top and nothing on the bottom. But I think my greatest lewk of quar was in Montana. I went to a socially distanced rodeo, and I hadn’t had a lewk in months, so I got this crazy outfit in purple with fringe, and it was very fun.”

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TARGET

“Every damn day, honey. And it’s pronounced Tar-jée.”

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NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

“When I was there, teachers would be like, ‘Move across the stage like there’s a fist up your pussy.’ And this one teacher would be like, ‘Imagine you’re sucking a cock, okay? You’ve got them wrapped around your finger. Now throw your pussy in the ring!’ There’s probably so much sensitivity training going on there now. The way I was trained, I just don’t know if it would apply anymore.”

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CHLOE FINEMAN

“At NYU, I went by Chloe Rose, which is so embarrassing. And then I reclaimed my Judaism.”

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Hair: Sabrina Porsche at Mane Addicts

Makeup: Arielle Park using MAC Cosmetics