Angelyne, Billboard Queen, Explains NFTs

What are NFTs? The very legendary Angelyne emailed me a press release the other day about her first NFT, which just went to auction a few minutes ago. So I emailed her back and then we texted a bit and finally got on the phone to discuss cyber art, gay sugar daddies, life, and glamour for my column Club Mel, while I was lying on my couch and Angelyne was driving the freeways of L.A. in her pink Corvette. Ooh! —MEL OTTENBERG

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MEL OTTENBERG: Hello?

ANGELYNE: Is this the one and only? Is this my gay sugar daddy?

OTTENBERG: Yes, it’s your gay sugar daddy, Mel Ottenberg. Is it you, the one and only, the original billboard queen, the goddess of the net, Angelyne?

ANGELYNE: Yes!

OTTENBERG: I’m so happy to hear your voice, Angelyne. Where are you?

ANGELYNE: I’m driving on the freeways of Los Angeles and I love it. You know why I love it? I love it because I own this town.

OTTENBERG: Fantastic. That’s why it’s always been very important for me to be friends with you. I made that happen cause I knew you owned L.A.

ANGELYNE: I’m open to sharing.

OTTENBERG: It’s cool, I just like to visit. Where are you going right now?

ANGELYNE: I’m going to my studio to edit my film.

OTTENBERG: Oh my god, I can’t wait to see it. What’s it called?

ANGELYNE: It’s called the Angelyne Billboard Queen Film Exposé, and it’s going to be 104 minutes long, and it’s got all my very own music. Every bit of music in the film is my music.

OTTENBERG: “Smell like a rose…”

ANGELYNE: Yeah, “Tangerine Rose” and “Kiss Me L.A.” are in it. I’m using 150 songs of mine in the film. You don’t even know most of the songs.

OTTENBERG: The last time we hung out, we drove around in your car and you played me some new tracks and they were really great.

ANGELYNE: Oh yeah, my punk music, right?

OTTENBERG: Yeah. So Angelyne, are you going to be telling all in your Hollywood blockbuster tell-all documentary?

ANGELYNE: Yeah, not a bunch of fake tabloid stuff. You’ll get it from me. And these personal things too. Like, when I was a baby, my parents put me in a crib while they were having sex right in front of me and I remember it. Who’s going to know that but me? Things like that are in there—where I’m from, what I did, how I’ve done it, and how I felt.

OTTENBERG: You’re telling the real story once and for all. The real deal, uncensored, Angelyne facts.

ANGELYNE: Exactly.

OTTENBERG: I’m ready for it. I’m ready for the mystery to be revealed. You’re very elusive.

ANGELYNE: The mystery will be revealed, but I will always have this mystique. You know the difference, don’t you?

OTTENBERG: Tell us the difference.

ANGELYNE: Well, a mystery is like a murder mystery that gets solved, but mystique is something that somebody has that’s alluring, desirable and magnetic, that somebody feels drawn to. People are drawn to me for that. Let’s talk about my NFT.

OTTENBERG: What does NFT stand for?

ANGELYNE: Non-Fungible Token. It’s like crypto money, crypto art. It’s along the lines of Bitcoin, but it’s art.

OTTENBERG: Hardcore art. Angelyne, what does your NFT look like?

ANGELYNE: Oh, go look at it! It’ll blow your mind and your hard drive’s mind. Ooh!

OTTENBERG: Okay, hot. I love it. Club Mel readers, you can see Angelyne’s NFT at https://foundation.app/angelyne. I’m looking at it right now. It’s going on auction today, Friday April 2 at 12 noon Pacific Time.

ANGELYNE: And we own it. Now people can own our own products, rather than corporations using art to facilitate their company. We get the money.

OTTENBERG: I dig it. You’re inspired by some old-school throwback looks of what the web looked like back in the day, right?

ANGELYNE: Yeah, well I used to have a cyber tour at different places around L.A., and I was the first one to ever do that. It was during the first format of digital, and then I just left that alone and went to do something else. By the way, I’m tentatively deciding to run for governor of California.

OTTENBERG: I’ll absolutely do some volunteer work for the Angelyne for Governor campaign.

ANGELYNE: Oh cool. I’m going to have to get signatures and stuff, to get on the ballot.

OTTENBERG: Well even though I don’t live in L.A. you’ve got my signature. So wait, is your NFT the most glamorous NFT?

ANGELYNE: The most glamorous, sexy NFT.

OTTENBERG: What makes it so sexy and unique?

ANGELYNE: Me! What else is there to make it sexy?

OTTENBERG: I have no idea. Wait, Let’s tell the people about your NFT. It’s a file, it’s a desktop look, it’s folders, it’s your life.

ANGELYNE: Anyone can download it for free starting today, but only one person will own the file, and that’s what the auction is for. It’s like owning an original piece of artwork like a Rembrandt or a Picasso, it’s a real thing that will just accumulate more money as time goes on.

OTTENBERG: And then the point is, it’s like you own part of the internet instead of a big corporation owning it, and as it accrues value you’re the one with the power, baby. Right?

ANGELYNE: Exactly, and that’s what everybody should have. I have a slogan and it’s, “I own my own.” And for everybody else, it’s, “Own your own.”

OTTENBERG: Yeah, I don’t want to be owned by anyone, Angelyne, and I never have been.

ANGELYNE: Heck no. Maybe for one night, ooh!

OTTENBERG: Yeah, for a night or a couple years, sure. But that’s it, really. Hold on. I just got so lost in talking to you that I fell off my notes.

ANGELYNE: I know, we were conversating down the rabbit hole.

OTTENBERG: We always do that. I love that you’re doing crypto art because maybe a lot of people don’t know that you’re also a painter and a fine artist, so it’s really hot.

ANGELYNE: This particular crypto art is done by Lizzie Klein, she created that. But next time I think I’ll be doing my own crypto art.

OTTENBERG: Yeah. I love your paintings and your self-portraits. They are fantastic. I own two of them. Well, I own the laminated color Xeroxes of original artworks that you made, and you own the originals. I have a really cute flirty one of your face with glitter on it that I put in a hot pink metallic frame, and then I also have a good one that’s you as the Mona Lisa, and that one is in a baroque frame that I got it from you in. I love the frame.

ANGELYNE: Yeah, so the NFT auction will happen today, and the person that buys it, I will give them a ride in my car and publicize it and all that. A sense of my Angelyne experience.

OTTENBERG: A ride in Angelyne’s car is really the best place in town. It’s riding with a real unicorn—it’s really sexy and really glamorous. So wait, can I really be in your documentary?

ANGELYNE: Yeah, well, you could be in it because you’re my gay sugar daddy, my young gay sugar daddy. I need that in there. There’s nobody like that. The definition of a gay sugar daddy: a daddy that gives me money and doesn’t demand sex!

OTTENBERG: I got you, Angelyne. It’s an honor and a privilege to be your gay sugar daddy.

ANGELYNE: Did you ever hear the rumor about that the gay guy that died and left me all his money provided I use it for billboards? Well, it turned out to be Rock Hudson.

OTTENBERG: Wait, what?

ANGELYNE: There was a rumor. It’s a rumor that Rock Hudson, after he died, left me all his money, but I had to use it for my billboards.

OTTENBERG: Wow.

ANGELYNE: Yeah, that’s in my documentary.

OTTENBERG: I can’t wait to see it. So wait, were you filming the documentary and editing it during COVID, during the last year?

ANGELYNE: Yeah, it was basically only one or two or three people around at a time, so it was pretty easy and we all got tested. We were very cautious. I don’t like germs!

OTTENBERG: No, of course not. What are you wearing today?

ANGELYNE: Oh, you’ll have to see, I’m actually wearing a leopard scarf.

OTTENBERG: Are you using your rubber chicken pocketbook today?

ANGELYNE: I always have my rubber chicken in my car. Always.

OTTENBERG: You know I just love that rubber chicken. It’s like maybe my favorite thing on earth, Angelyne’s rubber chicken pocketbook. It’s just so incredible. Angelyne, what do you do to just relax and unwind after a day of being Angelyne and creating crypto art and making a documentary?

ANGELYNE: I take a bubble bath. I love my bubble bath.

OTTENBERG: Fantastic. Oh, and you meditate. Don’t you have a meditation tape?

ANGELYNE: Yeah, in the bubble bath.

OTTENBERG: Oh, fantastic.

ANGELYNE: That’s where all this incredible information comes to me.

OTTENBERG: That’s great. What is the scent of your bubble bath, Angelyne?

ANGELYNE: I have my own special scented bubble bath, but I also love Chanel bubble baths.

OTTENBERG: Who do you think should buy your NFT?

ANGELYNE: Oh my god, that’s a good question. I can’t answer that because that would be prejudiced. I think it should be open to everybody. Any and everybody can have it.

OTTENBERG: Is there anything else that you want to say to the Club Mel reader?

ANGELYNE: Well, I’m extremely happy that I’m starring in my own film, and nobody else is trying to portray me. I don’t think anybody in the whole world could portray me, my positive energy, the message I’m delivering. The culture of the world has to come straight from me. I wouldn’t even want Marilyn Monroe to play me. She’s she and I’m me.

OTTENBERG: Yeah, you and Marilyn have a simpatico vibe. I don’t think anyone has pulled off playing you yet.

ANGELYNE: No, they can’t. Do you want to know something crazy? You said me and Marilyn have a simpatico [vibe], and that’s an odd thing for you to say. I don’t believe in ghosts much, but she did come talk to me when I was only 12-years-old, and she told me I would become famous. She wouldn’t tell me when I would become famous, which was just fine, it was to be revealed. And then she said that in another life, she was my mother and I was her baby and we got separated and it was very sad. That’s how much of a connection we have.

OTTENBERG: That’s incredible. That’s destiny. Like Marilyn, are diamonds your best friend? What’s your favorite jewel?

ANGELYNE: I love rubies. Hers are diamonds, mine are rubies.

OTTENBERG: Thank you so much. You’re amazing, and I’ll just double-check to make sure everything is exactly as is.

ANGELYNE: Well, last time you guys printed all that fake information. I was really livid. Why don’t you print my real birthday, which is January 26. There’s a ton of fake birth dates in the tabloids. And let me tell you what happened to me because of that fake information. I had a doctor’s prescription, and the nurse didn’t have my birthday information. So she looked online and saw the fake tabloid crap, and then called the pharmacy and gave them the wrong information, so I couldn’t get my medication. It was only an antibiotic.

OTTENBERG: I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll put it in my calendar to always wish you a happy birthday, and we at Interview will tell the world that your real birthday is January 26. Bye bye, Angelyne. I’ll see you soon.

ANGELYNE: Big hugs!

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Set Design: Brittany Porter at LaLaLand Artists

Photography Assistants: Andrew Goeser and Nik Williams

Fashion Assistant: Malaika Crawford

Set Design Assistant: TJ Hamouszas

Production Assistant: Collins Salovaara