TASTE
“I’m Lactose Intolerant”: Richard Kind Goes to Zabar’s to Eat Cheese
Richard Kind wears Jacket and T-shirt Stylist’s Own.
Everybodyʼs favorite character actor visits Zabarʼs to sample the best coagulated milk protein they have to offer, lactose intolerance be damned.
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TUESDAY 3 PM JULY 9, 2024 NYC
RICHARD KIND: What cheese is this? This cheese I don’t like.
JULIAN RIBEIRO: What does it smell like?
KIND: Like cheese!
RIBEIRO: Where would you bring that cheese?
KIND: To a Nazi get-together.
RIBEIRO: Fair enough.
KIND: It’s not good. It tastes like cardboard… Here, taste it.
RIBEIRO: Yeah, give me a little bite.
KIND: Take a taste.
RIBEIRO: I kinda like it. Is that bad?
KIND: No, but it doesn’t taste like cheese.
Tuxedo, Shirt, Headphones, and Bowtie Stylist’s Own. Sunglasses Cartier.
RIBEIRO: What’s on the plate, what is that?
KIND: This is very good, this is blue cheese.
RIBEIRO: And that’s kind of like a feta?
KIND: That’s what it must be. I don’t like feta.
RIBEIRO: That’s good! Do you have a favorite cheese?
KIND: [Inaudible] I’m gonna eat so much cheese. I’m lactose intolerant and Interview said, “Hey, let’s go to Zabar’s and try cheese,” and I said, “Yes.” That’s just the kind of guy I am. Anything for my art.
RIBEIRO: What cheese is that?
DAVID BRANDON GEETING: Richard how about a big laugh?
KIND: Ugh, I’ve got cheese in my mouth!
Blazer and Jacket Stylist’s Own.
GEETING: Do you wanna ask him about any of these?
RIBEIRO: Yeah, I wanna talk about these cheeses!
KIND: What kinds of cheeses do we got there?
SPEAKER 3: We got an assortment.
RIBEIRO: Oh yeah we’re lit. Is this the first cheese photoshoot you’ve ever done?
KIND: No, it’s the sixth. Are you kidding me?
RIBEIRO: Do you have a favorite so far?
KIND: I happen to like blue cheese very much. Swiss cheese I adore. And this white cheese which someone said is probably feta—not my favorite here or in meals.
RIBEIRO: What’s the best place to bring cheese?
KIND: If you’re going to somebody’s house, you bring it and you’re a friend. Well, you’re too young to bring cheese, but your parents do.
RIBEIRO: People in New York will eat on the subway or, like, the bus—
KIND: People who eat it on the subway are not good people. People who eat it on a plane are not good people.
RIBEIRO: Absolutely.
KIND: In the tablets that Moses dropped with the 15 Commandments, that was one of ’em: Never eat cheese on a plane.
Jacket, T-shirt, Shorts, and Socks Stylist’s Own. Shoes New Balance.
RIBEIRO: We just weren’t looking close enough.
KIND: It doesn’t taste good. I don’t like it in foods, or salads. I can’t believe I’m still eating it. I’m only eating it because it’s here.
RIBEIRO: Do you like a wet cheese or a dry cheese?
KIND: That’s a good question. I don’t go by the texture. A melted brie is great but my favorite is the chunks of parmesan, those are phenomenal; and that manchego, it’s the best. In fact, that manchego is aged. Did you know that there is a five-dollar difference between aged manchego and regular manchego?
RIBEIRO: I did not.
KIND: I feel like a pedophile if I eat just manchego, I prefer to have it aged. Oh god, now the cheese guy is taking pictures. What the hell!
RIBEIRO: What’s the meme, it’s like, “How do you do, fellow kids?”
KIND: What do you do?
RIBEIRO: How do you do, fellow kids?
KIND: What are you saying?
RIBEIRO: That’s what he says, it’s, “How do you do, fellow kids?”
KIND: Oh okay.
GEETING: Tell Julian what’s in the basket.
KIND: Hold on, let me fix my back.
T-shirt, Shorts, and Socks Stylist’s Own. Shoes New Balance.
RIBEIRO: What does it taste like?
KIND: Brie!
RIBEIRO: Who would you give this cheese to?
KIND: Nobody, I’d eat it for myself!
RIBEIRO: What’s on your plate—we got brie?
KIND: I got brie. This manchego is ridiculous.
RIBEIRO: What’s the hardest part about being lactose intolerant?
KIND: I can’t eat this shit, it’s horrible. I did a movie with Robin Williams directed by one of the great men of all time, Phil Alden Robinson. He directed Field of Dreams. I had a fat suit on and I met Robin Williams at a place called Junior’s and ate cheesecake; we’d eat a slice of cheesecake from a brand-new cheesecake each time. We went through 900 dollars’ worth of cheesecakes and when the film was over, Phil bought a Tiffany frame and gave me the framed 940-dollar receipt for the cheesecake. And I was lactose intolerant.
RIBEIRO: Oh my god, you poor thing.
KIND: Me poor thing? Well how about what I’m doing for Interview magazine? Bullshit, too.
RIBEIRO: Can you put cheese on a bagel?
KIND: Of course you can.
Sweater and Scarf Loro Piana.
RIBEIRO: Do you come to Zabar’s a lot?
KIND: Yeah, I live nearby. Here, want a piece?
SPEAKER 3: I’ll try this, I’ve never had brie before.
RIBEIRO: What’s going on over there?
KIND: [Pointing to Kind bar shelf] They knew I was coming.
RIBEIRO: What else do you like here?
KIND: The mashed potatoes are terrific, never had that, brussels sprouts are very good, seafood salad is great, I’ve never had the paella, this is the best brisket but I usually make my own, their cutlets are great. This is the kind of food I would get my kids. I would buy the cutlets or the chicken tenders. The meatball sandwiches are great, the latkes are beyond, the rotisserie chicken is the best.
RIBEIRO: What’s in the Zabar’s mug?
KIND: Hot cocoa.
RIBEIRO: Naturally.
KIND: I really was trying to think of something as un-Jewish as I could, and I think Irish whiskey is better, or Irish coffee. You wanted me to be tasting smoked salmon and I said, “No there’s only two types of smoked salmon and it’s too chewy,” so they let me taste cheese.
Sweater and Scarf Loro Piana. Watch Rolex.
Jacket, T-shirt, Shorts, and Hat Stylist’s Own. Sunglasses Prada.
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Grooming: Shin Arima using Davines.
Photography Assistants: Zach Helper & Gabriella Talassazan.
Fashion Assistant: Talia Restrepo.
Post Production: Nikita Shaletin.
Production Assistants: Georgia Ford & Henry Moder.
