Esther Povitsky Isn’t Moved by Jacob Elordi’s Bathwater

Esther Povitsky, who you may know as “Little Esther,” the self-described “Jane Goodall of hot girls,” made her name in stand-up with wry reflections on daddy issues and excruciating stories which she somehow delivers with aplomb. In 2013, she was Joe Rogan’s first-ever female podcast guest, but she’s no one’s sideshow any longer. Povitsky’s first comedy special, Hot For My Name, hit Comedy Central in 2020. And now, with a baby on the way, the comedian’s debut feature film Drugstore June is coming to theaters on February 23rd. Co-written and directed with Nicholaus Goossen, the film follows a wannabe influencer with stalker-ish tendencies who gets tangled in a pharmacy robbery. “It’s based off of my own personal crazy obsession with my ex-boyfriend whose house I still drive past,” Povistky admitted over Zoom last week when she joined us for this week’s Rorschach test. Ahead of her big screen debut, she gave it to us straight about hecklers, weird pregnancy cravings, industry plants, and Jacob Elordi’s bathwater.

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BOMBING

“Love to bomb. It’s you and six Australian tourists who don’t understand you, and you just kind of fall to the floor of the stage. There’s been a lot of those for me.”

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USHER

“Look, I’m happy for him and his relationship with Skims.”

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FIRST DATES

“There is no one more vulnerable in this culture than two people on a first date. They need to be kept safer than a pregnant person. It’s also the best gift to a comedian, a first date in the front row.”

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INDUSTRY PLANTS

“People give Hollywood way too much credit. No one is working together. Everyone is on their own island just trying to keep their job and buy a vacation house.”

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JACOB ELORDI’S BATH WATER

“As a person who exclusively takes baths, even though I am 35, you don’t want anyone’s bath water. I need the young girlies to really hear me as their elder. You are better than that. You are better than Jacob Elordi’s bath water.”

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HECKLERS

“I love a crowd work clip, but I want to be the leader of the crowd work. I want to ask you a question. I like to be the leader in all areas, including my crowd work clips on TikTok.”

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TAYLOR AND TRAVIS

“It checks all my boxes. I tend to be very naive about these things. Travis and Kourtney, I’m fully on board. Even Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, I had stars in my eyes.”

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PREGNANCY CRAVINGS

“I have the saddest pregnancy cravings. It’s just a sad, formal shrimp meal that I didn’t even really enjoy that much. I’m not having the pregnancy I wanted to have, that’s for sure. I want to be pigging out, but I just have acid reflux.”

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ACID REFLUX

“In this period of my life where I can’t have tomato sauce, I am left with almost nothing.”

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DRIVING IN L.A.

“When I first moved to L.A. and was a babysitter for a mentally ill billionaire’s ex-wife, she taught me a lot. She taught me that when you are in L.A., you need to keep your immediate needs as small as you can because the traffic will ruin your life.”

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GOTHS

“I really want my daughter to be Goth. I want a Goth-themed nursery. I want a Goth baby.”

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AWARD SEASON

“I can’t make it about me, and so it’s really just not exciting.”

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JOE ROGAN

“Honestly, had a great time at the Comedy Mothership. Great staff, great venue. There was so many Diet Cokes.”

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ANDREW HUBERMAN

“It started so sunshine-y, but as usual, the bros took it too far. I am just so grateful that I don’t have a Huberman husband. If I was with a man who demanded certain health hobbies, I’m walking out the door. No man is making me get into a cold plunge. No man is getting me in the sunlight. No man is making me delay my caffeine for 90 minutes.”

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MOMMY INFLUENCERS

“You know who’s killing it in this realm? Trisha Paytas. She is so happy and so changed by motherhood, and is still 100% Trisha Paytas. I want to be 100% Trisha Paytas when I have a baby.”

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SSRIs

“I have been off my SSRIs and weed and I don’t really like what I’m finding. I went from a crazy hypochondriac to someone who would just never go to the doctor. Luckily, I have the muscle memory of what Lexapro did for me.”

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BODY COUNT

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and body count is the same. So there’s ones that don’t count.”