Cole Escola and Richard Perez Work Through Childhood Trauma in Wedding Gowns

When Cole Escola and Richard Perez got together at Coming Soon’s Chinatown showroom last month to try on a selection of dramatic wedding dresses, things got personal fairly quickly. From unrequited love and sibling rivalries to childhood trauma induced by the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin, nothing was off-limits. “You’re drenched in sweat, so nervous,” quipped Escola, the writer and star of Oh, Mary!, this year’s most unlikely Broadway smash. Thankfully for Perez, the viral comedian who’ll stage his riotous one-man show at Union Hall on November 25th and Joe’s Pub in the new year, he’s worked through his baggage—so much so that he confessed to a lingering crush on Steve Carell’s character Andy Stitzer. Below, the writers, comedians, and best friends discuss marriage, stage fright, Tom Jones, iced coffee, and what it’s like to be living out your childhood dreams.

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COLE ESCOLA: It’s Friday, October 18th and I’m here in Chinatown with Richard Perez, who’s promoting his new book. We’re in a furniture showroom. Richard, you mentioned you live like you could move out of your home in two hours. If you had to pick a piece of furniture from this showroom for your home, what would you choose?

RICHARD PEREZ: That’s hard to answer because the way I live is one of the saddest, darkest parts of my life. I really could move out in two hours if I had to today.

ESCOLA: How long have you been in your current place?

PEREZ: Five years. I’ve lived in New York for 13 years total.

ESCOLA: So after five years, you still feel like you might leave tomorrow?

PEREZ: I haven’t built my nest yet.

ESCOLA: Where are you from originally?

PEREZ: I’m from Jersey.

ESCOLA: Jersey to Delaware— the classic “screw you” to mom and dad. What drew you to Delaware? The architecture, the people, the food?

PEREZ: The thriving scene! [Laughs] No, it was more of a financial choice. The school I went to was a two-year program that partnered with Pratt and Corcoran, so people could transfer smoothly.

ESCOLA: Playing the long game, huh?

PEREZ: Exactly. I got denied from SVA, which was my first choice.   

ESCOLA: Because they saw those incriminating photos we won’t talk about?

PEREZ: Can we edit that out? You’re going to have to take that out.

ESCOLA: But we’ll put it back somewhere else, maybe in Women’s Wear Daily.

PEREZ: Oh my god, my incriminating photos in Women’s Wear Daily.

ESCOLA: I forget that you had a big emo phase.

PEREZ: I was more indie, but I was friends with the emo kids. In high school, I was coming out of my Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion VH1 Divas phase.

ESCOLA: That never fully goes away.

PEREZ: Never. It changed me. But then I got into Coldplay.  

ESCOLA: Tell me about that. Was it for a girl?

PEREZ: Yeah, a friend showed me “Yellow.” I was so touched and tried really hard to relate to it as a teen.

ESCOLA: Yearning for that romantic fantasy.

PEREZ: Exactly. I dove into their discography and really liked their stuff.

ESCOLA: You were one of the first to say, “Hey everyone, check them out, they’re not that bad.”

PEREZ: “They’re not that gay.” But then what fucking ruined my life was—

ESCOLA: What ruined your life?

PEREZ: That line in 40-Year-Old Virgin where Paul Rudd or Seth Rogen says, “You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.” Remember that?

ESCOLA: I don’t, but I can hear your voice quivering. You’re drenched in sweat, so nervous. That movie really upset you, huh?

PEREZ: It’s actually my favorite movie.

ESCOLA: What’s the movie you’ve seen the most?

PEREZ: 40-Year-Old Virgin.

ESCOLA: Wow. There are movies I used to watch every night before bed, like James and the Giant Peach and The Flintstones movie.

PEREZ: You would watch those to fall asleep?

ESCOLA: Yeah, something about the visual world was very comforting. If the movie ended before I was asleep, it made me really depressed. So I would have to start it over.

PEREZ: Why was that?

ESCOLA: I guess it was just those final, horrible thoughts before falling asleep. Like, “What if none of it matters?” I shared a room with my brother.

PEREZ: Me too. Until senior year, when we moved and I got my own room.

ESCOLA: You’re so lucky. I moved out at 16 to live with my cousin and go to a bigger school with a drama program. Subconsciously, I think I wanted to come out in a new environment.

PEREZ: Where was that?

ESCOLA: Longview, Washington. Any more questions, your honor?

PEREZ: Wait, that’s so beautiful. Did you and your brother beat the shit out of each other growing up?

ESCOLA: Violent fights with weapons. There was this ladle in my great-grandmother’s punch bowl. Whoever got to it first in a fight had the upper hand. Hard case VHS tapes, too.

PEREZ: Using those to beat each other? Geez. I feel like I’m not so confrontational in my relationships now, maybe out of fear it’ll escalate to getting hit with a belt.

ESCOLA: I think I’m afraid of my anger embarrassing me. If it comes out, everyone will be like, “Okay freak, calm down.”

PEREZ: So we both grew up in kind of violent homes. I like that we shared that. Were you left alone by your parents a lot?

ESCOLA: Yeah. You?

PEREZ: Kind of. My mom and dad separated when I was three. It’s hilarious imagining them being like, “Never mind, this is too much.”

ESCOLA: Classic, mom with three boys. Did you live with your mom?

PEREZ: Yeah, me and my two brothers.

ESCOLA: And your older brother got his own room growing up?

PEREZ: Yeah, he’s six years older.

ESCOLA: That’s fucked up. Wait, you’re the middle child?

PEREZ: I’m the middle.

ESCOLA: I’m technically the middle child, too. I have an older half-sister who’s 13 years older, but she moved out by the time I was three. Okay, we’ve been summoned to try on wedding dresses. We’ll be right back, guys. Thanks and be sure to hit subscribe!

ESCOLA: We are back. I’m here with Richard Perez.

PEREZ: And I’m here with Cole Escola.

[“It’s Not Unusual” by Tom Jones plays]

PEREZ: Do you believe that it’s not unusual to be loved by anyone?

ESCOLA: What does that even mean? Why is he singing about it if it’s not unusual?

PEREZ: Let me look at the lyrics. “It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone…”

ESCOLA: “It’s not unusual to have fun with anyone…”

PEREZ: It’s actually pretty neutral.

ESCOLA: But queer. Like, “Hey, love is love. Two guys? Not weird.”

PEREZ: He’s in an open relationship.

ESCOLA: With three men. The subtext is like, “Where I come from, this was how we did it. Four men, all in love, and that’s fine!”

PEREZ: And they could be anyone. Just some Joe Schmo from down the street.

ESCOLA: Beautiful. So we’re sitting here in wedding dresses, you’re eating a salad from Tavern on the Green and I’m enjoying a big mug of gazpacho from Duane Reade. Richard, do you actually want to get married?

PEREZ: I was going to ask you that. Do I want it? Sure.

ESCOLA: Sure?

PEREZ: Sure! Not that bad, but sure. Yeah, I want it.

ESCOLA: Say with your chest. Who do you see yourself marrying one day?

PEREZ: I think someone like Steve Carell from 40-Year-Old Virgin. I feel vulnerable sharing that.

ESCOLA: I can tell. You’re crying a little bit. Let the record show that Richard is crying with snot coming out of his nose. What’s the longest relationship you’ve had?

PEREZ: Like, two months. I’ve never really been in a relationship.

ESCOLA: Two is a big number for you. You’re into numbers and how they pop up, right?

PEREZ: Yes, and their meaning. I guess two has popped up a lot. I mean, there’s two of us. I always say I could leave my apartment in two hours.

ESCOLA: It’s a number you’re afraid of. Your mom and dad were two and then they each became one. That right there is your fear.

PEREZ: It is. Do you want to get married?

ESCOLA: No.

PEREZ: Have you felt that way your whole life?

ESCOLA: Yeah. I don’t understand relationships. I feel like I’m pretending when I’m in one. Like, “Oh yeah, I love eating with my left hand. This is so natural.” Do you love to fly?

PEREZ: Air travel? I’m new to it. My first plane ride was in 2022.

ESCOLA: Really? My mom just took her first plane since 1975 to come see my show.

PEREZ: Cole, that could make me cry. That’s really sweet.

ESCOLA: Let the record show you’re not actually crying.

PEREZ: I said it could, but it didn’t.

ESCOLA: She was here for three days, just in and out. When was the last time someone yelled at you? At work?

PEREZ: No, probably my family, actually. My mom and I got into a heated argument on the phone.

ESCOLA: I don’t think I’ve ever argued on the phone. I’d hang up before it got there. What was the argument about?

PEREZ: I don’t remember. Something dumb. I just know when she’s in a good mood, her voice is in a different key.

ESCOLA: Music is big for you. You’re like, “She’s no longer in B-flat, in harmony with you and your brother.”

PEREZ: Exactly. Things change. She gets more evil, her voice lowers. I could hear it on the phone, but I don’t even know what it was about.

ESCOLA: For the sake of the interview, let’s make up what it was about. You wanted to sign with a new modeling agency?

PEREZ: Yeah, a new agency and my mom disagreed. She knows the business well.

ESCOLA: Because a lot happened to her when she was modeling in Peru in the sixties. It was dangerous back then. Modeling was still new.

PEREZ: Wait, how was it having your mom see your show?

ESCOLA: It was good. I always fantasized about what it would be like. “I can’t wait to show my parents the real adult me. Look mom, this is where I buy my coffee.” I see people showing their parents New York and I hate them a little bit. I’m not going to examine that now because we have dresses to try on.

PEREZ: We don’t want to sweat through them. But it was the nice, lovely trip you dreamed of?

ESCOLA: Growing up, I never let my mom see anything. It was like, “This isn’t for you. Get out of my room.” I had a bit of that feeling before going on stage like, “What are you doing here?” But that’s just nerves. Has your mom seen you perform?

PEREZ: No, she barely knows I do this.

ESCOLA: Same. I’m surprised I told her I had a Broadway show. I’m always like, “Yeah, I don’t know. I might do a show later with some friends. We’ll see.”

PEREZ: Was she shocked when she got to Broadway?

ESCOLA: She was so happy for me. Crying, sobbing, all the mom stuff.

PEREZ: That’s sweet. My mom’s never seen me perform.

ESCOLA: And you like it that way?

PEREZ: I got used to it. She worked overnights a lot.

ESCOLA: Modeling. Too much light during the day for pictures.

PEREZ: She didn’t want skin damage. I played trumpet and knew she could never make the shows.

ESCOLA: It would’ve made you too nervous to have her there?

PEREZ: Nervous, but as a kid part of me wondered, “Will she surprise me and come?” Now, the thought of her seeing me perform, especially with the sexual stuff I do, it scares me.

ESCOLA: Do you think she would get it?

PEREZ: I don’t think so. My dad would. He’s a super gay pervert. He’d get what I’m doing with my art and life. My mom would just be worried.

ESCOLA: But she’d hear everyone laughing around you.

PEREZ: True. I wonder how she’d respond. Probably, “Stop laughing! He’s trying to talk!”

ESCOLA: “These people are hurting my son!” Do you drink coffee?

PEREZ: I do. Do you? What do you order?

ESCOLA: Guess.

PEREZ: An Americano? A cappuccino?

ESCOLA: A red eye, iced, so I can get it down quicker. I tried hot the other day since it was cold out. I was in tears, a prisoner to this hot coffee.

PEREZ: You need it iced. And that’s okay.

ESCOLA: What’s your drink?

PEREZ: An iced Americano, triple shot. Or a simple cold brew.

ESCOLA: What were we talking about in the beginning? Emo? I was in a punk band in high school.

PEREZ: Really? What was the name?

ESCOLA: First it was “Blacklisted,” then it changed to “Fat Dave’s Fetish.” I was vocals and wrote songs. But here’s the truth I’ve never said in print: I had a crush on the drummer. I saw him at assembly and was like, “Who is he?” We did a production of Little Shop of Horrors and after class one day he came up to me and asked if I could write music. I said yes even though I didn’t. He said his band needed a singer-songwriter. I was like, “Perfect, exactly what I’ve been wanting.” They had a song that needed lyrics. I had no idea what to write so I stole lyrics from Shock Treatment, the Rocky Horror sequel, figuring they’d never seen it.

PEREZ: Was he impressed?

ESCOLA: I don’t remember because I was just relieved no one questioned it. Love makes you do crazy things. It’s why I moved to New York, to chase my high school boyfriend.

PEREZ: God, it’s so true.

ESCOLA: When’s the last crush you had?

PEREZ: As a barista, you get little crushes. My coworker would make it so obvious like, “Richard, you should help him.” Embarrassing. But a big, inspiring, decision-making crush? It’s been a while.

ESCOLA: Maybe 20 years for me. The drummer was straight, and so was everyone in the band. I can’t talk about it.

PEREZ: I get it, of course.

ESCOLA: By the way, you’re one of the funniest people alive.

PEREZ: Don’t say that.

ESCOLA: It’s true. And your show was one of the funniest I’ve ever seen. Are you going to run it somewhere?

PEREZ: I want to. I’m thinking about taking it to Fringe, but I need $15K. That’s actually why I brought you here, to borrow $15K.

ESCOLA: Hold on, I’m getting a phone call. Actually, I have to leave.

PEREZ: Oh, you have to go?

ESCOLA: No, no. I’m going to find someone to produce your show.

PEREZ: Thank you so much.

ESCOLA: To close out, where do you see yourself in two hours?

PEREZ: At home. I got a shoe rack in the mail and I didn’t realize I’d have to assemble it myself.

ESCOLA: Why didn’t you realize that?

PEREZ: I don’t know. I pictured it in a big box.

ESCOLA: Maybe if you visualize it really hard, it’ll be built when you get home.

PEREZ: Maybe I just have to do it myself to make it come true. I have to face it.

ESCOLA: That’s beautiful. I don’t want to say more. Let’s let our readers digest that.

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Location Coming Soon Showroom

Retouching Zach Vitale

Photo assistant Natalie Miller